


this desire, a dangerous one

by onelastchence



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, jongdae is the vampire & chanyeol the human
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2019-11-18 13:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18121235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onelastchence/pseuds/onelastchence
Summary: Chanyeol doesn't know why the lord of the manor always looks so sad. What hedoesknow is that he wants to make it go away.





	1. i.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't have an update schedule for this because i'm honestly terrible at writing when i'm not inspired (and if i'm not, everything is garbage, which i'm not comfortable posting). hopefully you'll stick with me, however many months it takes me to finish this.
> 
> title (kind of, edited to make grammatical sense) taken from jongdae's [watch out](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS40nK6T0Ns), because he's unfairly gorgeous & unfairly talented, and i am unworthy.

It’s been six months since Chanyeol first got his job at the manor.

 

Everyone in the town knows the manor and the grounds surrounding it as ‘the Lord’s place’. There were more rumours than truth about what went on at the Lord’s place, and it was so terribly closed off to the people of the town that they ranged from the lord being a mass murderer to there not being a lord at all.

 

Chanyeol knows, though, that there _is_ a lord, and he’s not a mass murderer at all.

 

The owner of the manor is Lord Jongdae. He’s small in stature, almost petite, and from what Chanyeol has managed to glean from the one portrait hanging on the wall, extremely cute. He’s got pretty eyes and kitten lips, curled at the ends, like he’s looking straight through you and finding out all your secrets. The Mona Lisa has nothing on Lord Jongdae.

 

Chanyeol would know, because Chanyeol has-

 

Well. Chanyeol’s never actually _met_ Lord Jongdae. He works for Lord Jongdae, had somehow managed to convince the head butler, Kyungsoo, that he was perfect for the job. The manor had needed a new stablehand, and Chanyeol was _great_ with animals, strapped tight for cash above all else, and had basically thrown himself at the man when he had come into town with a slip of paper in hand.

 

He still remembers the way Kyungsoo had just _looked_ at him, for ages. It had been more of a glare than anything else, and if he thinks about it now he still gets frightened by it sometimes. Kyungsoo has warmed up to him - as much as Kyungsoo is physically capable of warming up to a person, Chanyeol thinks - since then, and he delights in the fact that he’s able to have full conversations with the head butler, now.

 

Back to Lord Jongdae. Chanyeol _pretends_ to know a lot about Lord Jongdae, but he doesn’t know much other than the fact that he likes having bubble baths and that he’s a vampire. The former, Kyungsoo had told him, when Chanyeol had asked why there were stacks upon stacks of bath salts in the basement, and the latter Baekhyun had managed to blurt out in front of Chanyeol.

 

He isn’t afraid of Lord Jongdae, no, how could he be? For one, he’s never even _seen_ Lord Jongdae, let alone spent enough time with him to be afraid of him. For another, all the staff in the manor are very much human, and as much as Chanyeol can see the scars leftover from what he assumes are Lord Jongdae’s fangs on some of the staff’s necks, they all still seem to love and respect Lord Jongdae, so he doesn’t really think too much about it.

 

If there’s something that _does_ disturb Chanyeol, it’s that even after half a year of working for Lord Jongdae, the man has never actually appeared in front of him. Oh, sure, Chanyeol spends a lot of time in front of that portrait whenever he has time of, but the man - or vampire - himself is always nowhere to be found when Chanyeol manages to make it into the manor, rather than just hanging out around the horses. Baekhyun had snorted at him, once, and told him it was because Lord Jongdae was nocturnal, but _everyone_ on the staff had met Lord Jongdae at least once, why was it that Chanyeol had never?

 

Speaking of the portrait, Chanyeol always finds himself immeasurably drawn to it. Perhaps it’s because it’s the only thing that he uses to convince himself Lord Jongdae is a real person, but he can’t stop looking at it. What piques his interest the most is that there seems to have been a second person in the portrait, but it’s been so scratched up that it’s basically torn, whoever standing next to Lord Jongdae more than disfigured.

 

It’s his third time that week in the manor, and Chanyeol manages to catch Baekhyun’s arm as Lord Jongdae’s right hand man waltzes by. “Hey, Baekhyun,” He points at the torso - all that was left - of the man beside Jongdae. “What’s up with this? Are those claw marks or something?”

 

Baekhyun pauses, and when Chanyeol turns to look at him he looks almost hesitant. That’s odd. Baekhyun is _never_ hesitant, especially when it comes to running his mouth. Baekhyun not currently speaking at thirty words per second explaining the portrait causes alarm bells to ring at the forefront of Chanyeol’s mind.

 

“We don’t really talk about him, not anymore,” Baekhyun answers, voice soft. It’s almost like he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing. “He was-”

 

“Baekhyun!” An unfamiliar voice calls from the upstairs landing. “I forgot, I needed vanilla, too!”

 

Chanyeol’s head jerks up to locate the source of the voice, one that sounds like bells and made Chanyeol feel like everything was right with the world.

 

_Lord Jongdae._

 

The man in question seems to freeze where he stands, eyes wide and locked onto Chanyeol. There’s a million and one emotions flickering through his eyes, but Chanyeol can only look at Lord Jongdae and think he’s perfection personified.

 

“Lord Jongdae,” He quickly greets, bowing low. This is his first time seeing his employer in person, and he wants to make a good first impression, if nothing else. “It’s an honour to meet you. My name is Park Chanyeol, I’m your new stablehand.”

 

Lord Jongdae seems to have come to his senses, in this time, and he draws himself up to regal height. Chanyeol knows he’s small in stature, but like this, one floor above Chanyeol, looking, for all intents and purposes, down at him, Chanyeol can’t help but feel awed.

 

“Yes,” Lord Jongdae greets, but his voice is, for the lack of a better word, distant. “Kyungsoo did tell me about a new stablehand. He neglected to tell me your name,” Here, his eyes flicker over to Baekhyun, who flinches. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

He certainly doesn’t _sound_ like he’s pleased to meet Chanyeol at all. All the warmth Chanyeol had heard in his voice when he had called out for Baekhyun is gone, replaced instead with something cold, and sharp. It makes Chanyeol feel something ugly stirring within him, and he doesn’t understand why he wants the lord to address him in the familiar way he had Baekhyun.

 

“Baekhyun,” Lord Jongdae calls again, ignoring Chanyeol immediately after his greeting, but his voice is different, now, sounds almost strained. “The vanilla, please. Then I need to talk to you.”

 

He disappears soon after, and Chanyeol can do nothing but stare forlornly after him. He doesn’t understand why he has this almost insatiable _need_ to stand next to Lord Jongdae, to run after him when his back is turned and he’s making his way back to what Chanyeol assumes are his chambers.

 

“Great,” He hears Baekhyun mutter under his breath. “It’s not like it was _my_ idea, thanks a lot, Kyungsoo, and now he’s going to rip my head off and I won’t be able to do anything about it, because he’s a fucking _vampire_ , even though I’m _innocent_ and this is _all Kyungsoo’s doing_.”

 

Baekhyun doesn’t even seem to realise Chanyeol is there any longer, still muttering curses under his breath as he stalks down the stairs. Chanyeol watches him go, confused about why he’s blaming Kyungsoo, of all people, and why he was even blaming anyone in the first place. Had Lord Jongdae accused him of something?

 

Chanyeol shrugs, returning his gaze to the portrait. Lord Jongdae must have been happy when it was painted. The expression the lord in the portrait wears is so different to the one he had sent Chanyeol just a minute ago, and Chanyeol finds himself aching with it, but unable to recognise _why_.

 

But Chanyeol is Chanyeol, after all, and he doesn’t let much, if anything, bring him down. He chalks it up to him still being new to the manor, and Lord Jongdae being uncomfortable with strangers. When he expresses this thought to Kyungsoo, absentmindedly, the head butler just hums, and Chanyeol takes this to mean he’s right.

 

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” He asks, suddenly remembering, one day. “Baekhyun told me that the guy in the portrait, you know, the one so scratched out he doesn’t even have a face any more, Baekhyun said you guys don’t talk about him? Why? Was he someone important to Lord Jongdae?”

 

Kyungsoo turns to give him a _look_ , and it’s the same one he had first given to Chanyeol in the town square, so many months ago, when Chanyeol had attached himself to Kyungsoo like a barnacle and refused to let go until he gave him the job he had come to advertise for. It makes Chanyeol shudder, but he doesn’t back down.

 

“We don’t talk about him for a reason, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo finally sighs, shaking his head. “You said it yourself, he’s so scratched out he doesn’t have a face any more. Isn’t that enough of an answer for you?”

 

Chanyeol, always too curious for his own good, doesn’t stop pressing. “Those are claw marks, right? Did Lord Jongdae tear at the portrait himself?” Okay, so he isn’t the most well versed in vampire anatomy - he doesn’t even know if vampires had claws! - but he’s pretty certain his incessant pestering will get Kyungsoo to reveal _something_.

 

Perhaps he’s pushed a little too far for his own good, this time, because Kyungsoo loses his temper and snaps, “We don’t _talk_ about him because the last time someone accidentally brought him up, Jongdae disappeared behind his doors and wouldn’t leave for _weeks_. _Weeks_ , Chanyeol! We had to hire someone to knock the door down because Jongdae wouldn’t _feed_ , and he almost _died_ , so forgive me if I don’t want to _talk about him_!”

 

Chanyeol winces at the information, watching Kyungsoo’s chest heave in anger. He mumbles an apology under his breath, dodging out the door as Kyungsoo slams a fist down onto the counter, eyes closed.

 

An angry Kyungsoo is an irate Kyungsoo, and an irate Kyungsoo is absolutely _atrocious_ to be around, so Chanyeol spends the rest of his days in the stables. He coos at the horses, feeding the foals sugar cubes and the horses apples out of his hand. They’re all taken with him, much more than he had expected, and he’s gotten so much closer to them that he would’ve thought, when he first started the job.

 

There’s one horse, in particular, a stallion named Chen, that he’s most attached to. All the other horses had loved him on sight, basically, but it was Chen that he had immediately been drawn to, his dark, dark mane and shining eyes making him seem more intelligent than Chanyeol had initially given him credit for.

 

Chen seemed to enjoy his company above the company of the other horses, and Chanyeol likes spending time with him, too. He’s not above favouritism, admittedly, and spends more time brushing Chen, saves the largest apples for him, and even sneaks in a couple of sugar cubes. There are nights when thunder roars, the skies opening up above them, when he has to come in and calm all the horses, but even then, he spends the night tucked up against Chen, warm against him in the hay.

 

Today, as usual, he brushes Chen, paying him more attention than any other horse. “I wonder what it was about that guy,” He says, lips pursed. “Kyungsoo said that Lord Jongdae didn’t come out of his room for weeks, Chen, that they had to burst him to save him from fading due to starvation. Was he really that important to Lord Jongdae?”

 

Chen gives a whinny, turning his head to look at Chanyeol. Chanyeol feels immensely judged by the horse, if possible, and huffs. “I’m just curious, okay! There’s something about that portrait that gives me bad vibes, I just want to know why.”

 

He continues brushing Chen in silence, then sighs, dropping the brush to the floor. He falls to the floor next to Chen, and the horse huffs at him, laying down with him. Chanyeol looks at him, smiling, hand coming forward to pet him. “Maybe when I’ve been here for longer Lord Jongdae will talk to me.”

 

His theory, however, that Lord Jongdae wasn’t fond of him because he was a newcomer to the manor is dashed less than a month from then.

 

Sehun is hired roughly 7 months after Chanyeol is, and he’s someone Chanyeol immediately takes under his wing. Sehun is hired to tend to the gardens, and so they spend a lot of time outside together. Sometimes Chanyeol lets the horses out on the grounds so they can stretch their legs, then walks over to the gardens to bother Sehun about something or another.

 

It’s an easy friendship, and Chanyeol finds that they can talk about nothing and everything. He enjoys his time with Sehun; conversation flows easily and they have a similar sense of humour.

 

Somehow, their conversation leads to Lord Jongdae.

 

“Have you met him?” Chanyeol asks, tilting his head.

 

“Met who?” Sehun replies, yanking at a particularly stubborn weed.

 

Chanyeol watches him work, then leans forward over the hedge to lend him a hand. “Lord Jongdae, of course.”

 

“Jongdae? Of course I have.”

 

Chanyeol is so shocked at the intimate way Sehun refers to their employer that he loses his footing and falls, not over the hedge, but _onto_ it, ruining an entire afternoon of Sehun’s work. Sehun’s fuming at him, but Chanyeol can only think about how Sehun called him _Jongdae_ , the way Kyungsoo and Baekhyun did, rather than _Lord Jongdae_ , which was how Chanyeol referred to him.

 

“Wait,” Chanyeol blurts out. “Wait, did you just call him _Jongdae_?”

 

Sehun gives him a weird look, pushing him out of the hedge he had spent so much time cultivating and trimming. Chanyeol goes ungracefully, but he’s still staring up at Sehun, shocked. “Well, yeah?” Sehun answers, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. _It’s not!_ Chanyeol’s mind is screaming at him. _Lord Jongdae doesn’t like newcomers! It’s why he doesn’t like me!_

 

“What do you mean by that?” Chanyeol scrambles to his feet. “He’s our _employer_ , how can you just call him that?”

 

By this time, Sehun’s pretty tired of this conversation. He has to redo the entire hedge, if he’s lucky enough to be able to salvage it. If he doesn’t, then he’ll have to think of something different to do with it, and _that’s_ just going to take even more time and energy. “Because he told me to? Honestly, Chanyeol, I speak to Jongdae, like, every single day, it’d be weird to call him Lord Jongdae to his face all the time.”

 

Sehun. _Sehun_ , who had been at the manor for all of _two weeks_ , spoke to Lord Jongdae. Every single day. _Every day_.

 

It makes Chanyeol feel more than a little pathetic, if he’s being honest with himself. He drags himself to his feet and stalks away, back to the stables. His mind is reeling, unable to understand why, _how_ Sehun has managed to have regular conversations with Lord Jongdae when Chanyeol hasn’t even _seen_ him outside of that one chance meeting.

 

He’s so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t pay attention to his surroundings, and when he gets back to Chen’s side, he realises he isn’t alone.

 

“Lord Jongdae,” Chanyeol greets, eyes wide. He may be feeling like a he’s just been slapped in the face - and he might as well _had_ been, what with all the information that Sehun had just piled upon him, but he wasn’t raised in a barn, and remembered his manners. “I’m- Are you here for a ride? I can have any of the horses saddled up for you.”

 

The lord is looking at him apprehensively, and that familiar sinking feeling in his stomach is back again. There’s nothing, now, theory thrown in the figurative trash can, as to why Lord Jongdae treats him so differently from all his other employees. Lord Jongdae, it seems, just doesn’t like Chanyeol, and that thought makes him feel even worse, if possible.

 

“No,” He eventually replies, tilting his head. “It’s too bright out.”

 

Ah, Chanyeol realises, feeling like an idiot. It’s the middle of the damn day, and Lord Jongdae is a _vampire_ , of course he’s not going to be going out for a leisurely ride when the sun is at its highest. “Do you need something, then?” Chanyeol asks, eager to help.

 

“I’m here to visit Chen,” Lord Jongdae replies, turning his back on Chanyeol and facing the horse, and then he’s ignoring Chanyeol’s existence again, like he had the other day. “I have nothing to ask of you. You’re dismissed, for today.”

 

Chanyeol can barely believe what he’s hearing. Lord Jongdae is dismissing him for the day, is treating him like he’s not there, _again_. He doesn’t understand, doesn’t get what he’s done to make Lord Jongdae hate him this much, but he knows that it makes him feel absolutely _awful_ , and really, it’s horrible that he always feels like this.

 

“Was it something I did?” He blurts out.

 

Lord Jongdae turns around so quickly Chanyeol didn’t even see any movement. One of his eyebrows is raised, and his expression is shuttered, like there’s a wall physically separating him from Chanyeol.

 

If Chanyeol had any more self-preservation skills than what he currently possessed, he probably would’ve known to stop when Lord Jongdae’s eyes flashed dangerously. As it is, Chanyeol does _not_ , and so continues to plough on further. “Did I offend you? You don’t talk to me, ever. I thought it was because I was new, but then Sehun said he talks to you everyday-”

 

“Are you done?” Lord Jongdae interrupts. “I said you were _dismissed_.”

 

Chanyeol flinches back like Lord Jongdae had slapped him in the face. There’d been so much venom in that one word, and he still doesn’t know what it was that he’d done wrong, what he’d done to deserve such hostility from him. He doesn’t bother greeting Lord Jongdae as he leaves; employer or not, he’s been treated like he’s a tick - which was ironic, considering Lord Jongdae was a vampire - and not like a human at all. There was no reason for him to stay and take the verbal abuse.

 

He brushes against his employer as he passes, feels Lord Jongdae stiffen at the contact, and scoffs. He wondered why the lord had even approved of his employment when he basically treated Chanyeol like pond scum.

 

Chanyeol keeps his distance from Lord Jongdae after that incident. Not that it’s hard, all things considered, since Lord Jongdae avoids him like the plague. He spends most of his time with the horses, and Sehun seems more receiving of his company now that he’s managed to fix the hedge with Chanyeol’s help, even if he _does_ wave his gardening shears threateningly whenever Chanyeol happens to amble by.

 

This isn’t to say that Chanyeol’s weird attraction to Lord Jongdae has magically disappeared, because it hasn’t. For whatever reason, Chanyeol still finds himself looking up at the portrait every once in a while. He doesn’t stay and stare any longer, but each time he happens to be inside the manor instead of outside of it, with the horses, he can’t help but glance up at it as he walks by.

 

Lord Jongdae’s words echo in his head, though, each time, and the memory of the sheer poison in his voice has Chanyeol turning away and carrying on with his day.

 

Spring comes and announces its arrival cheerily with an abundance of spring showers. The water Chanyeol can deal with, even if it makes the hay damp and soggy. It’s not ideal, but it’s an easier problem to solve than the thunder and lightning. The horses are terrified, especially the younger foals, and Chanyeol finds that he has to stay out later and later, sometimes even having no choice but to stay in the stables overnight when the storm is especially unforgiving.

 

It’s not a chore, no, considering he loves the animals he’s tasked to take care of. It’s a little uncomfortable, if nothing else. Chanyeol finds himself curled up next to Chen most of the time, finding solace with the stallion. It’s always warm, and Chen is an affectionate companion.

 

He has his next meeting with Lord Jongdae in the stables, again. It’s not surprising, really, with how much time he actually spends there, that it’s where they would meet again.

 

It’s a terribly loud thunderstorm that sets the horses off. Chanyeol’s pretty sure one of the trees a little further out into the grounds had been struck by lightning and caught on fire. It scares even him, the intensity of the storm, much less the horses.

 

Chanyeol leads all the horses into the center of the stable, away from the pouring rain. It’s the best he can do in these circumstances, really, herding the smaller foals into a small circle and leading the stallions and mares around them.

 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Chanyeol says, petting them. He soothes his hand down their manes, lets the foals tuck themselves close to him. “It’s just a little thunder, there’s nothing to be scared of, silly.” He soothes, guiding the foals to lay down, first. The adults go easier once the foals do, and Chanyeol beams at them when they’re all in what could be considered a circle.

 

He apparently falls asleep like that, somehow, because the next thing he knows he’s being shaken awake by a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Chanyeol,” He hears. “Chanyeol, wake up, you shouldn’t be sleeping here.”

 

He opens his eyes, blinking blearily. He can barely make out the figure of someone standing over him. He sits up, almost smacking his head against Chen’s head, the stallion watching him with his clear, dark eyes. He scratches at the base of Chen’s ears, stretching, turning to find whoever had woken him.

 

“Chanyeol,” He hears again, from his left, and he turns to see Lord Jongdae standing over him with a worried expression on his face. “What are you doing sleeping in the stables?”

 

The lord is standing next to Chen, and Chanyeol blinks up at him, stunned. This is the first time that he’s been addressed by the lord with any sort of gentility, and he doesn’t know what to make of it. He hadn’t expected Lord Jongdae, of all people, who sometimes looked like he could barely stand to be breathing the same air as Chanyeol, to be worried about him.

 

Then again, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was just here to reprimand Chanyeol for not doing his job, in which case Chanyeol would argue that _he_ wasn’t nocturnal, just because the lord was, and was allowed to sleep at night, just like any other member of his staff.

 

“You’ll fall ill,” Lord Jongdae frowns. “What _ever_ possessed you to sleep in the stables like this?”

 

Chanyeol stares at Lord Jongdae for a moment, then shrugs. The lord couldn’t really fault him for doing his job, right? “It was thunderstorming,” He says, like that explains everything. Could he go into more detail? Yes, he could. Did he want to, with the person that treated him like pond scum, even if said person was the one who paid his wages? Not really.

 

The crease between Lord Jongdae’s brows seems to deepen, and he crosses his arms, looking somehow like a petulant child. “You do realise you’re not making a very convincing argument right now.”

 

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. “The horses get scared when the thunder’s too loud,” He says, unsure why he has to explain all of this to the lord. “It makes them feel safer if I’m in the stables with them. Helps with the skittishness.”

 

Lord Jongdae looks confused. “So you just? Sleep with the horses each time there’s a thunderstorm?”

 

“Not every storm, no,” Chanyeol shrugs, smoothing down the mane of one of the foals, jostled awake by their conversation. “It’s not always as bad as it is tonight. Sometimes they can handle themselves, other times Chen here,” He says, patting the stallion in particular. “Kind of acts like the father figure and manages to calm them down.”

 

“You know this isn’t part of your job scope, right?” Lord Jongdae asks. “You’re only hired to take care of the animals, you don’t have to go this far for them.”

 

Chanyeol snorts at that. “I like the horses,” He says. “They’re not just beasts of burden, they’re my friends, basically. I know every single one of their names, their personalities, which ones like apples over sugar cubes and vice versa. I sleep here on nights when it thunderstorms because I don’t want them to be stressed out, not because you pay me to.”

 

“Oh,” Lord Jongdae says, blinking. He sits down, then, in his fancy clothing and all, next to Chen, the stallion the only thing between the both of them.

 

Chanyeol can basically feel his eyebrows shooting up to the heavens at that action. “What are you doing?”

 

Lord Jongdae sends him a look that Chanyeol actively ignores. Sleeping in the stables was what stablehands like himself did, not something lords like the vampire in front of him did. “I actually came down here to do what you’re doing,” Lord Jongdae admits, sheepishly. “I’ve been with some of these horses since they were newborns, so I like to come check up on them every once in a while. I was concerned with how hard it was storming, so I came to take a look.”

 

“Right…” Chanyeol eyes him skeptically. He finds himself yawning, suddenly, and he rubs at his eyes with the back of his hands. He _was_ woken up in the middle of the night after all, and he’s still tired. “If there’s nothing else I’m going to go back to sleep. I still have other chores to do tomorrow.”

 

“Oh,” Lord Jongdae says again, and he sounds rather embarrassed. Chanyeol doesn’t have the appropriate levels of energy to think about that. “Yes, please go ahead. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

 

Chanyeol settles back against Chen, yawning and rubbing at his eyes again. He makes himself comfortable, the stallion whinnying softly at him. Chanyeol’s hand comes up to run through Chen’s mane, and the rhythmic action quickly soothes him to sleep, even if he’s the one doing it.

 

Just before he falls asleep, he swears he feels Lord Jongdae’s hand on his hair, and a soft voice: “Sleep well, Chanyeol-ah.”

 


	2. ii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to a for the beta, the one who keeps my works palatable. <3

Chanyeol wakes up the next day to find the stables as damp as it could’ve possibly gotten, which makes him grumble under his breath because it just adds to the work he has to do, but himself warm, covered by a thick, fluffy fleece blanket. Most of the horses have been led back to their original places in the stable, with the exception of the foal that had awoken last night, and Chen.

 

He groans, moving into a sitting position, scratching at the back of his head. Chen is still fast asleep, as is the foal, so he moves away from them gingerly, checking on the other horses. Some of them are still a little skittish, so he spends more time with those, brushing them and patting their flanks.

 

He spends the majority of his morning like this, changing the hay, refilling food buckets. He grabs a couple more apples than he usually would, handing them out and laughing when all the horses crowd around him. The sky is brighter than usual, and Chanyeol stretches when he walks out into the sunlight. Chen neighs from behind him, and he laughs, opening the gates to let the horses out. They basically rush out, on each other’s tails, galloping off as fast as their legs can carry them. Chanyeol understands; he’d run that fast, too, if he was always cooped up in the stables.

 

Without the horses in the way - as much as Chanyeol loves them, there’s only so much work he can get done when he’s got equines breathing down his neck - he goes into the stable to check on everything, make sure their all working the way they should be. He shuffles through the stalls, scooping up horse dung whenever he sees a pile, making a face. He’s used to it, but it’s still not his favourite task.

 

He heads into the manor for breakfast once he’s done in the stables. He goes to ensure the gate to the grounds is locked - runaway horses certainly wouldn’t do - then treks his way into the manor. He cleans his boots of mud by stomping on the spot for a couple of times before he makes it into the manor to the servants’ quarters.

 

Baekhyun is there, chattering happily with Kyungsoo, and even Sehun is seated on the table, happily spooning _gukbap_ into his mouth.

 

“Morning,” He greets, moving to the pots and peering in. He grabs a bowl and fills it with _gukbap_ , sitting next to Baekhyun.

 

“So,” Baekhyun turns to him, a grin on his face. “A little bird told me you fell asleep in the stables last night and was found by Jongdae.”

 

Chanyeol sends Baekhyun a _look_. “I don’t think the phrase works if Lord Jongdae was actually the one to tell you what happened.”

 

Baekhyun pouts, one hand to his chest, an expression of mock hurt on his face. Chanyeol resists the urge to gag into his _gukbap_ , choosing instead to spoon it into his mouth and ignore Baekhyun, for the most part. “I’m _hurt_ ,” Baekhyun simpers. “That you would doubt me like this. I said it was a little bird.”

 

“Sure, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol snorts, almost inhaling soup up his nose. “Whatever floats your metaphorical boat.”

 

Kyungsoo’s frowning at him when he finally gets his nose out of his bowl, and Chanyeol tilts his head questioningly at him. “Wasn’t it storming last night?” Kyungsoo asks, leaning forward to press his hand against Chanyeol’s forehead. Chanyeol flushes, a little, at the attention. “Did you catch a cold?”

 

There’s a rather strangled sound, like someone choking, and Chanyeol turns, one eyebrow raised, ready to put Baekhyun into a headlock. It’s not Baekhyun, however, who had made the noise, because Lord Jongdae’s standing in the doorway, looking stupidly cute in his pyjamas, hair messy and there are a couple of sleep lines on his face. He’s looking at Kyungsoo, or Chanyeol, or perhaps the both of them, Chanyeol isn’t really sure, but Kyungsoo takes his hand back so quickly Chanyeol wonders if he’s got a spring loaded arm or something.

 

“Jongdae!” Baekhyun chirps, sounding way too happy. It almost makes Chanyeol feel insecure, because whenever Baekhyun’s _this_ cheerful, he usually ends up as the butt of one of Baekhyun’s pranks. “What are you doing up? It’s the middle of the day!”

 

“I, uh,” Lord Jongdae starts to say, eyes flickering over the people in the room. His gaze settles on Sehun, who sends him a wave he returns, if a little sleepily. “I was thirsty.”

 

“ _Oh_ ,” Baekhyun blinks, then, standing up, looking a little startled. Chanyeol takes a little longer before he remembers that Lord Jongdae is a _vampire_ , and that he hadn’t actually come into the kitchen for a glass of water. Baekhyun starts to herd Lord Jongdae out of the room, Kyungsoo waving him off when he tries to take care of the dishes first. “Come on, then, we don’t want any accidents happening.”

 

Baekhyun ushers Lord Jongdae out the room, a little spring in his step. Chanyeol wonders if Lord Jongdae feeds directly from Baekhyun all the time, or if he only does it when there’s no other alternative.

 

Chanyeol says nothing when Sehun gives him a weird look after the door shuts behind the two. He’s probably the only one not in on the secret, really, considering even Chanyeol had found out by accident. The lord’s strange sleeping hours might have clued Sehun in, but from the way he’s staring at Chanyeol like he’s trying to see through him to find the answers in his brain makes it clear he doesn’t know yet.

 

“What?” Sehun asks, finally, annoyed. “Why did they leave? Wasn’t Lord Jongdae thirsty?”

 

Kyungsoo sighs, picking up Baekhyun’s dishes as well as his own, moving to the sink. The maids will take care of them later, Chanyeol knows. He scoops another spoonful of _gukbap_ into his mouth so he doesn’t have to answer; he doesn’t really want to, since it’s not his secret to share.

 

“Jongdae’s nocturnal, Sehun,” Kyungsoo says, apparently having decided that Sehun should know, too. Chanyeol watches him, eyes wide. “He was thirsty, and he came looking for Baekhyun. Doesn’t that clue you in?”

 

Sehun shakes his head immediately, pouting like a child being denied his favourite toy. “What is it? Just tell me!”

 

Kyungsoo heaves another sigh, then turns around and walks towards Sehun, pulling the collar of his shirt down. Chanyeol sees the shock flicker across Sehun’s face when he takes in the scars of Lord Jongdae’s fangs on Kyungsoo’s skin, then nausea, and finally a plastered indifference Chanyeol isn’t entirely sure is real. “Oh,” Sehun says, simply.

 

“Yes, _oh_ ,” Kyungsoo replies, rolling his eyes. “So you can stop whining about being out of the loop now. You don’t have to worry, Jongdae only feeds from Baekhyun and I when he really needs it. He has his own means of acquiring blood donors.”

 

Chanyeol laughs into the remains of his _gukbap_ when Sehun makes another face, standing up and placing his bowl into the sink when Sehun looks like he’s going to hit him, hightailing it out of there. He spends the rest of his day lounging in the stables to hide from the sweltering heat of the sun.

 

By evening, most of the horses have made their way back, lured by hunger and thirst, most likely. Chanyeol only has to go out of his way to bring back two foals and one mare, leading them into their stalls and giving them a pat on their flanks.

 

There doesn’t seem to be any sign of another storm tonight, for which Chanyeol is grateful. As much as he loves the horses, he loves his bed, too, and it’ll be nice to sleep comfortably after the previous night spent in the stables. His neck still has a crick in it from the lack of a pillow, and he stretches it with a couple of turns of his head.

 

The blanket that he had been covered in is still hanging from the ledge he had left in on before lunch, so he goes to fetch it before he heads back into the manor. One of the younger foals trails behind him forlornly, giving his lower back a headbutt when Chanyeol makes to leave. He laughs, scratching behind its ears, before closing the gate shut and walking back inside.

 

He folds the blanket as he walks, draping it over his arm. He’s not really sure where to put it, but figures that the living room wouldn’t be a bad idea. He pushes the door open just in time to see Lord Jongdae standing over an unconscious Baekhyun, gently shaking him awake.

 

“Baekhyunnie,” Lord Jongdae says, voice soft and gentle. “Baekhyunnie, come on, wake up. You should sleep in your own bed.”

 

Chanyeol inches into the room, internally cursing his bad luck. Honestly, why was it that he had never gotten a chance to be in the same room as Lord Jongdae back when he had really wanted to? Now that he wasn’t fond of the lord, he seemed to be running into him no matter where he went. Someone out there must have it for Chanyeol, and he prays to whatever higher power that might be listening to him for strength.

 

It doesn’t seem like Baekhyun is waking up any time soon, with the way he grumbles, opens his eyes to peer at Lord Jongdae, then shuts them again and shifts on the couch, rolling over and snuffling. Chanyeol is very familiar with the little puppylike sound Baekhyun makes when he falls asleep, knows that Baekhyun had essentially just told Lord Jongdae to go fuck himself.

 

“I could carry him back to his room,” Chanyeol suggests, then kicks himself mentally when Lord Jongdae’s head snaps up. Well, there’s no going back now, really. “Uhm, I’ve done it plenty of times. As thanks for, uh, the blanket?” He holds it up awkwardly, only just realising he doesn’t know if Lord Jongdae had been the one to drape it over him.

 

Lord Jongdae looks at him for a moment, before sighing. “No, that’s quite all right. I can take him to bed myself.” He picks Baekhyun up with what seems to be zero effort, and ah, Chanyeol thinks, Lord Jongdae’s a vampire. Baekhyun probably weighed as much as a toothpick to him.

 

“Okay,” Chanyeol says. He gingerly puts the blanket on the arm of the couch, and makes to leave. “Good night.”

 

“Wait,” Lord Jongdae calls, still holding Baekhyun in a cradle carry. “Chanyeol, do you have time to spare?”

 

Chanyeol raises his eyebrows, turning back around. Was Lord Jongdae actually speaking to _him_ , cordially? He ignores the fluttering in his stomach when Lord Jongdae calls his name, pushing that hopeful part of himself down until it’s gone. “I mean, I’m just going to wash up and head back to my room now,” He replies, shrugging. “All the horses are in their stalls and there’s nothing left for me to take care of for today.”

 

“Oh,” Lord Jongdae says. It’s a little awkward, like this, considering Baekhyun is still in his arms. “Well, uh, once you’re done washing up, would you mind coming up to my study for a while? I need to talk to you about something.”

 

“I don’t know where your study is, my lord,” Chanyeol points out. Something about what he’d said makes Lord Jongdae wince, a look of pain crossing his face so briefly Chanyeol doesn’t know if he’d imagined it. He doesn’t know why Lord Jongdae wants to speak with him. Perhaps he’d gotten so sick of seeing Chanyeol around his manor, and his rudeness last night had been the last straw, so Chanyeol was being let go.

 

“Ah, then, wait for me at the second floor hallway? I’ll take you there myself. Just call for me and I’ll fetch you.”

 

“Am I being fired?” Chanyeol asks, bluntly. “Because if I am, you should just tell me now so I can pack my stuff up.”

 

Lord Jongdae looks bewildered. “Why would I fire you?”

 

Chanyeol blinks at him, then scratches at the back of his head sheepishly. “No, it’s nothing. I’ll go get cleaned up, then.”

 

Lord Jongdae smiles at him, then, and Chanyeol thinks he’s forgotten how to breathe. “Thank you, Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol turns to go, this time, making it out the door and walking back to his own room. He doesn’t know what Lord Jongdae would _want_ with him, if he really isn’t being fired. He sighs, grabbing his towel and making his way to the servants’ bathroom.

 

The place is large, and much more extravagant than Chanyeol had ever anticipated, considering it wasn’t for the lord himself. He loves the baths and how hot they’re kept, no matter what time of day it is. Removing his clothing, Chanyeol sinks down into the bath and sighs happily, dunking his head under water.

 

Usually, after a long day - and night, considering the one before - Chanyeol would spend much longer in the baths, soaking and letting the hot water relax his muscles. Today, however, he’s much too skittish, anxious about the meeting with Lord Jongdae. It’s hard not to be, when the lord is suddenly calling him by name, smiling at him, when before he had been treated like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of Lord Jongdae’s shoe. He doesn’t know what Lord Jongdae’s intentions are, and it’s messing with him.

 

He shampoos his hair, lathers himself up with soap, then dunks his entire body underwater, holding his breath and staying there, for a couple of seconds. He resurfaces, then scrubs at his hair to get the suds out, smoothing his palms over his skin to make sure that there’s no traces of soap left.

 

He gets out of the bath, towelling himself dry. He wraps the towel around his waist and makes his way back to his room, pulling a shirt over his head and some light slacks. He checks his appearance in the mirror, then decides that he’s delayed the meeting enough.

 

Walking to the second floor hallway feels like a death sentence. Chanyeol pinches himself at the thought. He still may not know what Lord Jongdae wants with him, but he doubts it’s anything too serious. After all, it’s not like he’s managed to do much around Lord Jongdae, other than the previous night.

 

The thoughts keep coming, though, unbidden, and Chanyeol wants to scream from frustration. The trek, normally a short one, seems so long that Chanyeol thinks he’s about to go crazy. When he finally makes it to the second floor hallway, he’s at a loss of what to do. Lord Jongdae _had_ said to just call out for him, but it’d be kind of weird to just shout his name down the hallway, right?

 

He shifts his weight from one foot to another, unsure of what he should actually do. He debates just turning around and leaving, but then again, Lord Jongdae _was_ his employer, and he does live in his manor, so it wasn’t like he could just not heed his requests.

 

Finally, he just decides to wing it, calling out a tentative: “My lord?”

 

It takes a while, but then Lord Jongdae is by his side, and Chanyeol startles at how quickly he had materialised. Being a vampire certainly had its perks, then, if this was the speed that Lord Jongdae could always move at.

 

“Hello, Chanyeol,” Lord Jongdae greets, smile small but bright. Chanyeol has to resist the urge to lift a hand and touch the uplifted corners of Lord Jongdae’s lips. “Thank you for coming. I know it’s pretty late, and you’d probably like some time alone, so I’ll make this as brief as I possibly can.”

 

“It’s not a problem, really,” Chanyeol shakes his head. “You’re my employer. If there’s something you want to talk to me about, I should come.”

 

Lord Jongdae starts walking, presumably leading the way, and Chanyeol follows. “You’re my employee, yes,” Lord Jongdae says. “But you’re still your own person, you know?”

 

The lord’s study isn’t far from the stairs landing, and they quickly turn into the room. Chanyeol feels strange, like he doesn’t belong here, and really, he doesn’t. This is his first time any where _near_ Lord Jongdae’s personal chambers; only Baekhyun and Kyungsoo - plus the occasional maid - ever really come up here with any frequency.

 

The room itself is warm, mahogany bookshelves and a coffee table surrounded by beautiful, fluffy looking couches. What Chanyeol assumes is Lord Jongdae’s desk is behind the couches, just in front of the windows. He wonders how often Lord Jongdae just sits there, going through his paperwork, bathed in moonlight and the warm lighting from the chandeliers hanging above.

 

“Take a seat, make yourself comfortable,” Lord Jongdae says, and Chanyeol plants himself down, if rather ungracefully, onto the couch.

 

He’s offered a cup of tea and a couple of biscuits, and Chanyeol takes them hesitantly, unsure of his place here. Lord Jongdae sits down on the other couch, hands primly set on his thighs. Chanyeol takes a sip of the tea, nibbles on the biscuits, then sighs and puts them down on the coffee table in front of him.

 

“My lord,” He starts, and Lord Jongdae seems to jolt out of his reverie, from where he had been staring at Chanyeol. “Forgive my bluntness, but why did you call me here?”

 

Lord Jongdae seems to fidget uncomfortably in his seat, then settle down and swallow. Chanyeol just watches him, silent. “I wanted to apologise,” Lord Jongdae finally says. “For how I’ve been treating you. You’ve been here for months and I’ve never once greeted you before.”

 

Chanyeol blinks, surprised. “Oh,” He replies, eloquent. “I mean, it’s okay, really.”

 

“No, it’s not!” Lord Jongdae protests loudly. “I’ve been horrible to you, and it’s entirely unwarranted.” His voice gets softer as the sentence goes on, and he almost looks like he’s about to burst into tears. “I’m sorry,” He finally says, after a pause. “The problem was me, and I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve any of it. I’m sorry.”

 

Chanyeol opens his mouth again, to say that it was okay, but Lord Jongdae sends him a look that says he wouldn’t have accepted that, so Chanyeol relents. “Okay,” He says, then. “I accept your apology.”

 

Lord Jongdae _beams_ at him, and Chanyeol’s breath catches in his throat. “Oh, and, please,” Lord Jongdae adds as an afterthought. “Call me Jongdae. Lord Jongdae sounds so stuffy.” His nose is wrinkled as he says this, and Chanyeol has to resist the urge to lean forward and boop it, because wouldn’t _that_ be highly unprofessional and entirely inappropriate.

 

“Jongdae,” Chanyeol repeats after him, hesitantly. There’s a part of him that’s screaming with joy, at finally being able to call the lord by name and name only, the way all the other servants - like Sehun, his mind provides, sulkily - do. “Is it really okay?” He asks, because he’s not sure if the lord is just messing with him at this point.

 

“Of course!” Jongdae - _Jongdae!_ Chanyeol’s mind supplies helpfully. _Not Lord Jongdae! Just Jongdae!_ \- exclaims, eyes widening, like the insinuation that he might have been lying is the worst thing he’s ever heard. “Everyone calls me that,” He says, nodding. “I get called Lord Jongdae every time I have to attend a meeting, it gets tiring after a while.” He sighs, leaning forward to rest his cheek against his palm, his elbows on his knees. “I much prefer it here at the manor, really.”

 

Chanyeol snorts, too late to stop himself, but Jongdae just sends him a questioning look. “Well, I mean,” He starts. “You’re the lord of this province, aren’t you? But the way you talk about your duties kind of make you sound like a petulant kid.”

 

“ _Hey_!” Jongdae shouts, but it’s not offended, more teasing, an amused glint in his eyes. Chanyeol heaves a huge, internal sigh of relief, at not having offended him the moment he decided to let go of whatever grudge he had against Chanyeol. “I _resent_ that. _You_ try attending those boring ass meetings every single month and see how you like it.”

 

“I’m merely a lowly stablehand, my lord,” Chanyeol simpers, eyes downcast as he bows in his seat. Jongdae makes a rude noise, and Chanyeol is so startled by it that he can’t help but laugh, loud and infectious, until Jongdae is laughing, too. They must seem quite silly, like this, laughing at what seems to be nothing in particular. Whenever Chanyeol thinks that he’s managed to calm down a little, Jongdae’s laughter will make his own start again, until Chanyeol is on his knees on the floor, hitting the ground with his fists, and Jongdae is curled up in a fetal position on the couch, clutching his stomach in painful mirth.

 

It’s so strange, and Chanyeol would _never_ have imagined he would ever be in a situation such as this, with Jongdae. He finally manages to straighten up, settle himself back on the couch, watching Jongdae uncurl himself, wiping tears from his eyes.

 

“I haven’t laughed this hard in ages,” Jongdae informs, and Chanyeol feels a bubble of pride. He’s smiling at Chanyeol so brightly, so radiantly, and Chanyeol’s heart seizes up in his chest. “Thank you, Chanyeol. Really.”

 

“It’s nothing,” Chanyeol waves him off.

 

Jongdae shakes his head, smile still on his face, albeit smaller, now, softer. “On the contrary, you’ve managed to do what no one has since, well,” He falters, here, and his smile falls, a little. Chanyeol blinks. Jongdae ends off with another quick “Thank you”, regardless, no less sincere than before. Chanyeol just shakes his head at him, smiling.

 

“I’ve kept you from your tea,” Jongdae says, suddenly. “And your rest. I’m sorry, Chanyeol, you must be exhausted.”

 

He isn’t _exhausted_ , but he is rather tired after the night and day he’s had. He smiles sheepishly at Jongdae, unable to deny it, downing the rest of his tea ungracefully and grabbing the biscuits, shoving them into his mouth. “You have good taste in tea,” Chanyeol notes. “And biscuits. How did you know these are good if you can’t eat them?”

 

Jongdae stiffens where he sits, and Chanyeol’s eyes widen. Oh, he thinks, Jongdae doesn’t know that Chanyeol - and, well, now Sehun, too - knows that he’s not human. “Uh,” Chanyeol says, awkwardly. “Baekhyun might have blurted it out to me by accident a couple of months ago?”

 

There’s a pause, and then the lord is pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. Chanyeol decides it’s better now than later, and drops the second bomb: “Sehun might have figured it out, too?” He leaves the part out about Kyungsoo’s obvious hints, because while Baekhyun, he could handle, Kyungsoo’s wrath he wouldn’t go near with a ten foot pole.

 

Jongdae makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat, burying his face in his hands. “You’re not afraid?” He asks, finally.

 

Chanyeol shrugs. “Not really. You haven’t hurt any of us, and I don’t think you ever will.”

 

“You have way too much faith in me,” Jongdae sighs, watching Chanyeol scarf his biscuits down.

 

Jongdae nods approvingly at him when he’s done, hopping onto his feet - really, _what_ gives him the right to be this cute? - and quickly dodging over to the door. “I really have kept you for way too long,” Jongdae frowns, looking worried. “Please rest, and take the day off tomorrow if you need it. The horses won’t die without you for one day.”

 

“No,” Chanyeol laughs, getting to his feet and walking towards the door. “But they _will_ get lonely. I’ll be okay, Jongdae, thank you for the concern.”

 

Jongdae mumbles something unintelligible under his breath, but he’s quickly smiling up at Chanyeol again. “Thank you for coming to talk to me, Chanyeol,” Jongdae thanks, the corners of his lips curling up cutely, and Chanyeol wants to scream. “Have a good night.”

 

“You, too,” Chanyeol greets with a nod. He starts to walk back down the hallway, pausing when he’s at the end to turn around. He’s expected Jongdae to already have disappeared back into his study, so he’s unprepared when he meets the lord’s gaze. Jongdae gives him a cheery wave that Chanyeol can’t help but return, face heating up.

 

He rushes the rest of the way back to his room, making use of his long stride length. He shuts the door behind him and plants himself, face down, onto his bed. There’s something bubbling within him, something warm, and unfamiliar, but it feels _nice_ , and Chanyeol wants to hit himself for being so _enamoured_ with the man.

 

He makes the great effort of turning his lights off before he crawls into bed, ducking under the covers and pulling the sheets up to his chin. The night is dark, no moon in the sky, but the stars are twinkling at him, light years away. They remind him a little of Jongdae’s eyes, bright and sparkling.

 

Chanyeol may hate himself a little for making that comparison.

 

He doesn’t know what to _do_ with himself, so he settles for hiding under his covers, closing his eyes, and thinking of bright eyes, cute, kitten smiles, and a smooth voice calling him _Chanyeol-ah_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the kudos & comments left on the last chapter! this honestly got more attention than i expected & i'm really super thankful for that; i hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much, if not more! kudos & comments make a happy author!
> 
> i can usually be found [here](https://twitter.com/onelastchence), crying over chenyeol or jongdae's new solo album. come talk to me!


	3. iii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to c, who puts up with my nonsense & agreed to beta this for me at 1am.

With his newfound companionship with Jongdae, Chanyeol finds him almost everywhere, now. Jongdae seems to enjoy spending his time - when it’s not too bright out, of course - in the stables with Chanyeol. While Chanyeol had found Jongdae in the stables that very first time, down to visit Chen, Chanyeol soon finds out that Chen is not, in fact, Jongdae’s personal steed.

 

“I thought your favourite was Chen,” Chanyeol tilts his head, confused. Said horse is currently galloping as far away from them as he possibly can, and Jongdae laughs.

 

“Well, I guess I kind of gave off that impression, didn’t I?” Jongdae says, smiling. “No, Chen is-” Jongdae pauses, here, and Chanyeol glances at him. “He belonged to someone very important to me.”

 

Chanyeol’s mind immediately - very helpfully - supplies the image of the torn portrait hanging in the middle of the manor. He doesn’t know how to reply to that, really, and so he keeps his silence.

 

“This little brat here, however,” Jongdae pats the stallion standing next to him and attempting to eat his hair. “Was a gift from that very same person.”

 

“Loey is your personal horse?” Chanyeol blinks, surprised.

 

Jongdae sends him an amused look, the corners of his lips lifting up more than usual. “Is there something wrong with that? Why’re you so shocked?”

 

Chanyeol blinks, then shakes his head. “No, no, nothing’s wrong,” He says. “I don’t know why I just thought that it was really obvious that Chen was your horse.”

 

“They’re all my horses, Chanyeol,” Jongdae teases, wiggling his eyebrows. “You’re just a servant here.”

 

That gets a snort out of Chanyeol, which, in turn, makes Jongdae laughs. “No,” Jongdae says, voice soft, almost melancholic. Chanyeol turns to look at him, then, sees the sad smile spread across Jongdae’s face, the way he gently runs his hand through Loey’s mane, the horse pushing his head against Jongdae’s side, as though trying to comfort him. “No other stallion will mean as much to me as Loey does.”

 

Chanyeol feels as though he’s intruding on something, then. Jongdae’s expression is soft, but sad, looking into the distance but not seeing. He’s right next to Chanyeol, physically, but Chanyeol has never felt so far away from anyone before this moment. Jongdae seems to be lost in whatever memory he’s managed to conjure up, and Chanyeol wonders if it’s about the one he gifted Chen to.

 

It makes acid bubble in the pit of Chanyeol’s stomach, jealousy rising like bile up his throat. He forces it down; what right does he have to be jealous, especially of someone he’s never met? Besides, whoever it was had made Jongdae happy, and they had loved enough other enough to purchase gifts for each other, to buy _horses_ for each other.

 

He finds that _he_ wants to buy gifts for Jongdae. He wants Jongdae to talk about _his_ gifts with that fond hint to his voice. Chanyeol wants to tear the memories of the one Jongdae thinks of with so much obvious adoration, and put himself in their place instead.

 

Chen is the one to break them both out of their reveries, trotting back from wherever he had run off to when Chanyeol first opened the gates to the stables. The horse in question sticks his head between them, exhaling hard enough that their hair gets ruffled. Chanyeol blinks, stunned, then laughs, one hand coming up to fix his hair and the other grabbing an apple to feed it to him.

 

Chen grabs the apple, crunches into it, then walks over to Loey and folds his legs, laying beside him. Loey noses at Chen, and Chanyeol watches them, intrigued.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jongdae apologises suddenly. Chanyeol turns to look at him, confused. “I got lost in my own thoughts again.” He laughs, a little self-deprecatingly, a lot painful. Chanyeol wants nothing more than to make sure Jongdae never laughs like that again, wants his laughter to only be bright, radiant and _happy_. “Baekhyun always ribs me on it.”

 

“Baekhyun’s not valid,” Chanyeol says automatically, and that makes Jongdae grin. “What he says isn’t important.”

 

“Oh, so _this_ is what you two get up to when I’m not around,” A very familiar voice says from behind them. “I was wondering what you did now that you’re on speaking terms with each other. Turns out all you do is gossip about me behind my back.”

 

Chanyeol groans, but Jongdae just laughs, leaning back on his palms and tilting his head back so he’s looking at Baekhyun, albeit upside down. “And what about it? Are you going to try to stop us?”

 

Baekhyun makes a rude noise, which just makes Jongdae giggle. Chanyeol watches him, stupidly fond.

 

“It’s time you head to bed, Jongdae,” Baekhyun nags, sounding so unlike himself and so much like a middle aged woman that both Jongdae and Chanyeol burst into laughter. It only makes him huff, crossing his arms across his chest. “It’s almost _midday_ , Kim Jongdae, get yourself back into your room before I drag you there myself.”

 

“Okay, okay, _mother_ ,” Jongdae rolls his eyes. “I’ll go in, soon.”

 

Baekhyun pulls a face at Jongdae, but returns back into the manor, grumbling under his breath. Chanyeol snorts at him, and Baekhyun flips him off without even looking back.

 

He stands up, brushes hay from his clothes with his hands. Loey nudges him with his head, and Jongdae beams at the stallion, hands over one last sugar cube. “Thank you for keeping me company, Chanyeol,” He says, smiling.

 

Chanyeol startles, not having expected that, and staggers to his feet. Jongdae laughs, reaching out to steady him with one hand on his elbow. “Are you okay?” He asks, half teasing and half concerned.

 

Chanyeol nods vehemently, and Jongdae laughs again, one hand coming up to cover his mouth with his sleeve. It’s so horribly, _terribly_ cute that it makes Chanyeol want to lean forward and wrap his arms around Jongdae, hold him close and squish him until he’s satisfied. “I hope you sleep well,” Chanyeol says, once he manages to re-engage his vocal chords.

 

“Thank you,” Jongdae replies, and his smile goes all the way up to his eyes, turns them into cute, crinkly crescents. Chanyeol’s heart about explodes from how quickly it expands in his chest. “Have a good day, Chanyeol.”

 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, almost breathless with it. Jongdae smiles, again, walks back into the manor backwards so he can keep waving at Chanyeol, who waves back just as enthusiastically. Jongdae gives one last giggle before he disappears around the corner, and Chanyeol sinks to the floor once the lord is out of sight.

 

Chen nudges him with his head, and snorts. Chanyeol ignores him.

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol spends the rest of the week thinking - he is _not_ mooning, thank you very much - about Jongdae, about how pretty his smile is and how Chanyeol wants to be the one who puts it on his face. He finds himself unconsciously picking up little things from the town, trinkets he thinks Jongdae might like, accessories he thinks would look good on him. He spends way too much of his paycheck just buying these things, keeps them in a bag in his wardrobe.

 

He’s apparently not as transparent about his budding feelings as he thinks he is, because Baekhyun - who Chanyeol is convinced is either psychic or a psychopath, he hasn’t yet decided on one option over the other - corners him in the stables one afternoon after Jongdae’s made his way back to his room.

 

“Sit,” Baekhyun orders. Chanyeol is used to Baekhyun’s teasing demands, his bright, mischievous laughter accompanying it, but there’s none of it, here. It almost frightens Chanyeol, startles him enough into sitting just as Baekhyun ordered. Baekhyun sniffs, satisfied, and follows suit. “Do you like Jongdae?”

 

Chanyeol blinks, confused, but then Baekhyun sends him a _look_ that has Chanyeol inhaling sharply. “I-” He starts, then stops. What is he supposed to say? What does Baekhyun want to hear? Chanyeol doesn’t even know if his feelings are _like_ , or if this is just a dumb infatuation that won’t last. Maybe he only feels like this because Jongdae has been so far away from him for so long, and now that Chanyeol’s actually be given a chance to talk to him, he’s feeling the side effects of that. Baekhyun seems to know what’s going through his head, because he remains silent, waiting for Chanyeol’s answer.

 

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol finally says, and it’s nothing but the truth. “I like spending time with Jongdae. I get stupidly jealous whenever he talks about- This _person_ , who gave him Loey, who used to own Chen. I want- Jongdae’s smile, want to make him smile.”

 

Baekhyun hums once Chanyeol’s done stammering his way through his answer. Chanyeol watches as he leans back on his palms, looking up at the sky, follows his gaze. It’s clear out today, so the horses are allowed free range. “Jongdae’s been smiling a lot more, lately,” Baekhyun finally says. “He wasn’t always so happy, you know.”

 

Chanyeol turns to look at him, sees the pensive expression on Baekhyun’s face. “He’s always so cheerful, though?”

 

“When he’s around you,” Baekhyun informs, meeting Chanyeol’s gaze. His eyes, so frequently crinkled in mischief, are dark, serious, almost _piercing_. “Jongdae always used to smile, you know? He was always laughing, and this manor,” Baekhyun gestures vaguely around them. “Was always filled with his laughter.”

 

“What happened?” Chanyeol blurts out, unable to helps his curiosity. He feels like he knows, he probably does, thinks of the portrait, of Jongdae’s bright smile contrasting the tears in canvas.

 

Baekhyun shrugs. “It’s not my place to tell you. You can probably guess, though, since you like staring at the painting so much.” Baekhyun sighs, sitting up. "Jongdae did something that he's not proud of. That he'll never be proud of," Baekhyun says, thoughtfully, staring out into the distance. "It cost him- Well, it cost him everything, if we're being honest." Baekhyun chuckles, even though it's humourless, bland, almost.

 

Baekhyun sends him a look, then. "If you tell him that I told you this, I'll enlist Kyungsoo's help with cutting you into pieces and cooking you into a stew. No one will ever find your body," He warns, sounding so serious about it that Chanyeol can't help but flinch. Baekhyun seems satisfied with his reaction, if nothing else, and Chanyeol counts his lucky stars that he is.

 

"I won't," Chanyeol promises, then tacks on, "Cross my heart and hope to die."

 

"You'd better," Baekhyun sneers. He sighs, then, shaking his head. "I'm coming off a little harsh, here, aren't I?" He says.

 

Chanyeol blinks, unsure if it's supposed to be a rhetorical question or not. Baekhyun doesn't say anything for some time, so Chanyeol takes it to mean that he's waiting for an answer, and, tentatively, replies, "Just a little."

 

Baekhyun hums in acknowledgement, then there's another pause. It's laden with so much tension, so much unsaid, that it scares Chanyeol a little. The next time he speaks, his voice is soft, gentle, so unlike him that Chanyeol almost jumps. "Jongdae's my best friend, Chanyeol," He informs, and Chanyeol blinks. All this time, he'd just thought that Baekhyun was just Jongdae's head caretaker, if nothing else.

 

"You look surprised to hear that," Baekhyun laughs, presumably at the expression that had wormed its way onto his face. "But he is, he really, really, is. I've known him for so long, Chanyeol, I've seen him hurt, seen him in pain, and forgive me if I never want to go through that again."

 

"You're telling me not to hurt him," Chanyeol understands then, simply. Baekhyun cared for Jongdae, had been with Jongdae for so long. Chanyeol was the stranger here, was the variable that Baekhyun hadn't factored in.

 

"I'm his best friend," Baekhyun repeats. He turns his smile on Chanyeol, and somehow, it's sharp, but so Baekhyun, all square and bright. "Maybe, to you, it’s not the same. Maybe I’m reading this all wrong, and you just want to be his friend, too. But whether or not it is to you, I think, to Jongdae, it is. He’s been sad for a very long time, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun confesses, looks down at his hands. “We, Kyungsoo and I, are helpless to stop it, to make him smile again. If you could love him, then don’t hurt him. If you don’t - if you _can’t_ \- then don’t lead him on to believe something that’s impossible for you.”

 

Chanyeol realises, then, he could, oh, he _could_ fall for Jongdae, maybe already _has_. The thought itself frightens him, scares him beyond belief, so he sticks to the other part of Baekhyun’s words, clings onto it for dear life. "I want to," Chanyeol confesses, suddenly so afraid. He's sitting here, in the stables, and it should be a place where he's confident, because this is where he works, this is where he always spends his time, but he's never felt more lost than before. "I want to make him happy, but I don't- I don't know how to."

 

"You haven't had any issues with it so far," Baekhyun points out.

 

Chanyeol shakes his head. "He smiles when he's with me, but, not," He swallows, here, and it's like all his insecurities are bubbling out all at once. He doesn't know why it's with Baekhyun that he's able to be so upfront about it, but he thinks it's better that he has someone to talk to than to bottle it up all to himself. Besides, Baekhyun, for once, looks like he's willing to listen, rather than jump straight into making fun of him. Perhaps it's because it's Jongdae that they're talking about, someone so obviously important to Baekhyun, that he's being serious. "Not all the time, and he's always. Thinking about them."

 

"Them?" Baekhyun questions, a bewildered look furrowing his brows.

 

Chanyeol takes a deep breath, as though steeling himself, although for what, he doesn't know. "The one in the painting," He says, letting the weight of reality drop onto his shoulders all at once. The unnamed, unmasked figure, the one that Chanyeol could never really hope to stand up to. "They made Jongdae so happy," Chanyeol says. "Look how he looks in the portrait," He gestures to Chen and Loey, the two stallions huddled together close to the stable, gnawing on grass. "Look at their horses, one given, one received. How could I ever hope to live up to that?"

 

The look on Baekhyun's face is not one that Chanyeol would have ever thought that he would have seen upon his confession. It's strange, like conflict, relief, laughter, all warring, and Baekhyun's face can't decide what it wants to settle on. He stands up, then, expression finally settling on a small smile. He stretches, arms above his head, as Chanyeol looks at him in bewilderment. "I think," Baekhyun says, voice small, like he's telling Chanyeol a secret. "That you should stop thinking with that hyper-competitive brain of yours," He pats Chanyeol on the head, almost condescendingly, and _ah_ , there's the Baekhyun that he knows, maybe not so much loves, back in action. "You're here, after all," Baekhyun says, eyes twinkling. "They aren't. That should count for something, no?"

 

Baekhyun waltzes back into the manor, with that, and Chanyeol snorts.

 

And yet, somehow, Chanyeol feels better, because there is some semblance of truth in Baekhyun's words, loathe as Chanyeol is to admit it. Jongdae may have good memories, amazing memories of the person that he loved in the past, but they weren't here, now, just like Baekhyun had said. Chanyeol was, and that should be enough for Chanyeol to edge out a victory, no? Baekhyun had said to stop thinking so competitively, but it was in Chanyeol's personality, and if the prize was Jongdae's beautiful, radiant smile, then who was Chanyeol not to give his best?

 

He plans, then, and he's not the world's most organised person ever, but he knows that if he's going to attempt anything like wooing Jongdae, then he should have a plan of action, if nothing else. Jongdae is a lord, has land that stretches further out than Chanyeol's eyes can see, and Chanyeol is his mere stable hand, someone he employed - someone his employee employed - to do work that was considered to menial for someone of his station.

 

He stops, there, then. He hadn't considered the fact that Jongdae's station was far, far, above his own. Maybe Jongdae did smile at him when they were together, but it didn't take away from the fact that Jongdae was a lord and Chanyeol was, in the grand scheme of things, basically a nobody. Jongdae may enjoy his company, may like to be around him every once in a while, but who was Chanyeol to say that Jongdae would accept him, especially as a romantic partner?

 

Chanyeol freezes up. Did Jongdae even like men?

 

He groans, buries his face in his hands. He has so many questions, now, more than he did before, and Baekhyun the asshole, had run off before he could ask him any of them. Sure, Chanyeol could run after him and pester him until he answered, but Baekhyun would probably tease him so much that Chanyeol wasn’t sure his dignity could survive it.

 

Despite all of this, the day before Chanyeol’s next planned trip into the town, he finds himself pestering both Kyungsoo and Baekhyun for what Jongdae might like. He braces himself for the countless rejections (from Kyungsoo) and the endless teasing (from Baekhyun), but to his surprise they give him the answers he seeks without much preamble.

 

Sure, Kyungsoo does give him a strange look, sigh, and look extremely put out, and yes, Baekhyun did grin at him with all his teeth and too much mischief in his eyes, but by the end of the morning, Chanyeol is full from breakfast, has a pouch with some coins, and a heads of into town on one of Jongdae’s horses with a plan formulating in his mind.

 

He stops by the jeweller first, spends way too much time looking around before he manages to pick up a couple of trinkets - makes sure they aren’t made of silver before purchasing, of course - that he thinks Jongdae would like. A necklace, with a small, pretty eight pointed star, and a bracelet with the same charm hanging from it. He beams at the shop assistant as she wraps it up for him, and she hands it to him with a flush across her cheeks. At any other time, Chanyeol may have found her pretty enough to ask on a date, but all he can think about is how Jongdae would look wearing jewellery that Chanyeol bought for him.

 

He spends so long in the jewellery shop that by the time he makes it out, it’s already lunch time. Chanyeol finds a place that sells _yukhoe bibimbap_ and settles in one of the rickety chairs to wolf it down. The shop itself may be a little run down, but Chanyeol knows from experience that the food is exceptional. The chef recognises him, from his regular patronage before he got his job at the manor, and gives him extra beef, for which Chanyeol is grateful.

 

“You doing good, up there?” The chef’s wife asks, shoving a glass of _sikhye_ at him. Chanyeol tries to hand her money for it, but she’s not listening, and he gratefully accepts the beverage. “Are the rumours true? You’re safe, aren’t you?”

 

Chanyeol nods vigorously, wolfing down rice and vegetables. “I’m very safe where I work, there’s no need to worry about me.”

 

“Oh, boy, we all worry for you,” She shakes her head. “You help us all out so much when we need it, it’s hard not to miss you and your boisterous laughter when you’re gone for such long periods at a time. Even the owner of the _kalguksu_ restaurant has been asking for you.”

 

It makes Chanyeol feel strange, to know what so many people missed him while he was gone. He knows that most of it is because he used to carry out so many errands for them during his free time, but the fact that they even bothered to ask how he was doing when he came into town was touching. “Thank you,” He replies, bowing his head. “I’ll make sure to come down once in a while.”

   

“Just seeing you healthy is enough, boy,” She smiles, and it makes her wrinkles more pronounced. Chanyeol feels something well up inside him, makes him bow even deeper, especially when she refuses his coins.

 

He leaves the stall, stomach full and heart warm, waving goodbye to the chef and his wife until he has to turn the corner to make his way to purchase the bath products that Kyungsoo had said Jongdae loved more than anything else. He searches for lavender scents, picks out a couple of packets of bath salts, and finds himself nodding when the shop assistant suggests the candles that smell like petrichor. He chooses a few more eccentric items, like the tea bag that’s supposedly meant to go into the bath, and piles his stash onto the counter.

 

“The lady you’re buying all this for is very lucky,” The shop assistant smiles at him, and Chanyeol finds his own seizing up. He laughs, nervously, and refrains from saying anything, just waiting for all his items to be wrapped in paper and tied up with string. He hands over the gold pieces, receives his change in silver, and heads out.

 

The boy manning the town’s stable is barely of age, and Chanyeol sees a little of himself in him. It makes him toss the boy a silver coin instead of a copper piece, watches his eyes widen and mouth fall open. The boy thanks him, rushing off to grab his horse from where it had been drinking water from the trough, and Chanyeol pats the stallion on the flank before hefting himself up onto it in one swift movement.

 

He rides back to the manor, turns every once in a while to ensure that the saddlebag is still tied to the horse. It’s closer to the evening now, the sun beginning to set. Chanyeol wonders, absently, if Jongdae will be awakening soon.

 

The manor comes into view quicker than he had expected, so lost in his own thoughts. The stallion, at least, knew where to go despite its rider not concentrating fully. Chanyeol guides it back into the stables, gives it an extra apple for not letting him get lost.

 

He unties the saddlebag and lugs it with him back into his room. It’s not _quite_ the evening yet, and the sky is at the state where it shines a lovely orange glow onto everything, including into the manor. Chanyeol’s room is lit aglow, and he lays out the items he had bought for Jongdae on his bed, staring at them.

 

Maybe it’s the sunlight shining into his room, but it gives everything a softer look, and Chanyeol takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know how he’s going to give everything to Jongdae. Does he do it all at once, or does he start slowly? If he gives all of it to Jongdae at a time, would it be too much, and scare Jongdae away? On the other hand, if he gives them to Jongdae slowly, maybe one or two at a time, Jongdae would eventually catch on and potentially turn Chanyeol down, and all his gifts would go to waste.

 

Chanyeol groans, rubbing at his face with his hands. He’s not used to this, not used to _confessing_ , has _never_ been with someone, romantically, and it scares him. Baekhyun had said that it could be, for Jongdae, perhaps _love_ , and Chanyeol _wishes_ , hopes against hope that Baekhyun had been telling the truth.

 

Eventually, he decides to pack everything into a simple box, ties it up with the string that had come with the bath products. He leaves it on his table, and spends a good ten minutes staring at it and steeling himself.

 

“You can do this, Park Chanyeol,” He tells himself. “So what if Jongdae might not feel the same about you? So what if he might reject you? Everyone has to start somewhere, right?”

 

They did, but did Chanyeol have to? Fear and uncertainty rises up in his throat, makes him nauseous, and Chanyeol throws himself onto his bed in frustration, kicking like a toddler in a desperate attempt to vent.

 

He hears the bell signalling dinner go of, and he lifts his head up before he asphyxiates himself with his pillow. He pulls himself up, drags himself out of his room and into the hallway.

 

Maybe dinner would do him and his self-doubt some good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think, with this chapter, you'll all know who the person in the portrait is. chanyeol won't know, of course, but half the fun is watching him get over his fears & ask jongdae out, isn't it?
> 
> thank you for reading this far! kudos & comments are greatly appreciated; i'll see you all in the next chapter! <3
> 
> i can be found [here](https://twitter.com/onelastchence), yelling about the perfection that is [jongdae's solo debut](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrOrlhjIYVk).


	4. iv.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's _happening_. thank you to j for the beta!

Chanyeol walks into the servants’ dining area to find a huge pot of _kimchi jjigae_ boiling on the stove and Sehun waving at him from the table. He makes a face, hoping that it isn’t too spicy, and is pleased to find that it isn’t when he tests it. He grabs a bowl of rice and ladles the stew into another, settling himself down for the meal.

 

He spends some time talking to Sehun about inane things, asks Sehun about the state of the garden. Sehun, who hasn’t gone back down into the town since he started working at the manor, asks about the shops, if any of them have changed hands since. Chanyeol tells him about the restaurants that have closed, and Sehun bemoans the closure of the _mandu_ stall, whose owner has decided to retire. He’s about to finish his meal, laughing at a joke that Sehun had made when Baekhyun noisily announces his entrance.

 

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says when he sees him, and that tone of voice has always meant bad things for Chanyeol.

 

“Don’t bother him while he’s trying to eat his dinner,” Kyungsoo scolds, only a couple of steps behind. He cuffs Baekhyun across the back of his head and Chanyeol mentally thanks Kyungsoo for it.

 

Despite all this, Baekhyun, it seems, is never one to listen to any voice of authority around him, much less Kyungsoo, who is probably only equal to him in rank at most. He gets himself his own bowl of _jjigae_ and sits himself down opposite Chanyeol. Chanyeol sees Kyungsoo rolling his eyes, but the head butler says nothing else.

 

“So,” Baekhyun says, smiling at him. Chanyeol braces himself, grimacing. “I saw you lugging a package into the manor from the stables.” There’s a part of Chanyeol that knows that he could just defend himself by saying he bought things for himself, but the fact that he had pestered both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo for gift ideas makes that a little less convincing. “Did you get anything for Baekhyunnie?” There’s a lot of obnoxious eyelash fluttering, and Chanyeol has to make a face to prevent himself from throwing his dinner back up.

 

He looks up to flip Baekhyun his middle finger as he stands up to place his dishes in the sink. Baekhyun crows his victory, but Chanyeol just raises his eyebrows and takes the cookies he had bought from the town, handing Kyungsoo and Sehun a packet each, then settling himself down with his own.

 

Baekhyun looks at him expectantly, then when he realises he’s not receiving anything, shouts, “Hey! Where are _my_ cookies?”

 

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow at Baekhyun, remaining silent and chewing slowly on his cookies. Sehun is snickering into his own packet as he shoves two at a time into his mouth, and Kyungsoo is expertly defending his from Baekhyun’s wandering hands.

 

Baekhyun stares at him for a moment, then gets out of his chair. Something about his body language is setting off warning bells in Chanyeol’s mind, but before he can react Baekhyun is lunging at him and knocking him off his chair.

 

Winded and absolutely bewildered, Chanyeol feels a weight settle on his abdomen and his cookies snatched out of his hands. When he finally manages to come back to himself, he finds Baekhyun sitting on top of him, Chanyeol’s bag of cookies in his hands, and a smug grin on his face.

 

The door to the dining area slams open, making Chanyeol and Sehun jump. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, evidently very used to this, just turn their heads over to the entryway, where the lord of the manor stands, looking frazzled.

 

“Kyungsoo!” Jongdae yells. “I’ve run-”

 

He shuts up immediately when his gaze wanders and locks on the way Baekhyun is atop Chanyeol. A couple of different expressions flickers across Jongdae’s face, settling on a deliberate blankness. Chanyeol looks at Jongdae, then to Baekhyun, to Jongdae again. Baekhyun sends Jongdae a wink, and the lord bares his teeth, looking angry as he steps forward menacingly.

 

Baekhyun shrugs, climbing off of Chanyeol but not returning his cookies. Chanyeol makes a weak attempt at grabbing them as he staggers to his feet, but Baekhyun just dances out of his grasp, moving over to Jongdae and wrapping one cookie crumbed hand around his waist.

 

“So,” Baekhyun says, beaming at his best friend. “Why did you come down here?”

 

Jongdae sends him a _look_ , but Baekhyun doesn’t even flinch. Chanyeol maintains his theory that Baekhyun is either psychic - able to read Jongdae’s mind and knows that the vampire doesn’t have any homicidal tendencies - or a psychopath - entirely unafraid of being torn apart, limb from limb.

 

Jongdae finally sighs, shaking his head. “I’ve run out of my bath candles,” He complains, somehow transforming from an angry vampire to a sulking child in a matter of seconds. “Can one of you run down to town to get me some more?”

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes again, and Chanyeol is rather concerned that his eyes will fall out of his head with how frequently he does it. “The shops are already closed,” He informs, tilting his head out the window, where the sun is in the final stages of setting. “You can live without your precious bath candles for one day, Jongdae.”

 

Jongdae makes a high pitched whining noise, and something in Chanyeol stirs when he remembers what he has, in the package back in his room. He shifts, a little impatient, a little uncomfortable, wondering if he would be overstepping his boundaries if he were to offer them up. He finds he wants to give the candles that he had purchased to Jongdae, but not in front of everyone, where Baekhyun could - and would - openly tease him for it.

 

Chanyeol moves to take dessert out of the refrigerator, slicing through the cake deftly and handing everyone a portion while Jongdae continues to whine his way around the kitchen, attached to Baekhyun like a barnacle. Chanyeol spoons his dessert into his mouth, watches Jongdae nuzzle into Baekhyun’s neck and murmur into it as though that would magically make bath candles appear. Jealousy flares in his gut, and Chanyeol desperately tries to shove it back down. Something must have shown on his expression, however, because Baekhyun’s grinning at him with a glint in his eyes that activates Chanyeol’s fight or flight instincts.

 

“Alright, enough,” Kyungsoo says. “You’re making Sehun uncomfortable.” Which is an entire lie, if the amused expression on Sehun’s face has anything to say about it, but he quickly schools it into an appropriately disgruntled one when Kyungsoo sends him a glare. Jongdae turns, a little too late, to see the latter expression on the gardener’s face, and sighs, apologising.

 

Sehun attempts to wave him off, but Kyungsoo is already detaching Jongdae from where he’s still got both arms wrapped around Baekhyun and his head leaning on his shoulder and drags him out the door. Jongdae’s whines follow them, getting softer and softer as they go, Kyungsoo’s own baritone an apparent comfort for Jongdae, whatever it is that he’s saying to the lord.

 

“Well,” Baekhyun stretches his arms above his head, grinning. “That was fun.”

 

Chanyeol disagrees, but just makes a face at Baekhyun instead of wasting his breath trying to argue with him. He’s already learned from his time here that it’s an exercise in futility. He waves goodbye to him and Sehun, who’s guzzling down his second portion of cake, and walks slowly back to his room, still wondering if he should go give the candles to Jongdae tonight - or at all.

 

He walks into the servant’s bathing area, making sure the water isn’t too hot before he sinks himself down into the cool water. Usually, he would dunk himself into warm, almost scaldingly hot water - the one time Sehun had stumbled in on him, he’d made an impressive scathing expression at how hot Chanyeol likes his bath water - but it’s much too hot tonight.

 

His mind keeps going back to the bath candles sitting in his room, try as he might to distract himself. The thought of Jongdae possibly liking them lights a fire in Chanyeol's gut. It's almost terrifying, how much it affects him. And yet, he can't stop himself, thinks of Jongdae's pretty, pretty smile, possibly directed at him, this time, bright and radiant.

 

It's that thought that pushes him to make his decision. Sure, maybe Jongdae wouldn't appreciate him barging into his chambers with something that he didn't ask for, but he's been close to Jongdae for long enough to know that Jongdae wouldn't be ungrateful for something that was bought for him.

 

He quickly washes himself up, squeezing out a liberal amount of shampoo in his haste. He lathers it into his hair regardless, and does the same with soap. He towels himself down, not bothering to dry his hair completely, before he's hopping into his pants and pulling a shirt on, bolting out the door of the washing area and back to his room.

 

Chanyeol finds himself staring down at the package once he's opened it, wondering if he should only give Jongdae the candles or just give the entire thing to him. He figures he should stagger the gifts; all at once might be a little overkill, he thinks. Grabbing the candles, he wraps them in spare paper he has lying around, tying it up loosely with string.

 

It's when he's already halfway to Jongdae's chambers that he realises that barging into your employer's private quarters without first asking for permission is probably a little rude, and while they've become close enough that Chanyeol might actually call them friends with confidence, he's not entirely sure Jongdae would welcome him.

 

It leaves him staring a little awkwardly into the empty hallway that is the second floor. He remembers the last time he was here, when Jongdae had called him in to apologise for his behaviour towards Chanyeol. He's not as awkward with Jongdae as he was then, but he's no less nervous.

 

Thinking that the only way to get Jongdae to come to him would be the same as before, Chanyeol tentatively calls into the semi-darkness: "Jongdae?"

 

It takes a couple of seconds - and even then, barely that - but those seconds feel too long for Chanyeol, who's wondering if Jongdae had heard him at all. He feels more and more stupid as the seconds tick by, but then Jongdae materialises next to him, hardly a hair out of place, beaming at him from where he stands.

 

"Chanyeol!" Jongdae greets, and he sounds so happy that Chanyeol has to swallow around a lump in his throat. He would listen to this greeting all the time, if he could. "What brings you here?"

 

Chanyeol fumbles with the package in his hands, and Jongdae's eyes dart down to it. "Oh," Chanyeol mumbles, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He sticks his hands out, awkwardly, at Jongdae. "I, uh, I got this. For you."

 

Jongdae seems surprised, going by the expression on his face, but there's a hint of sadness behind it that makes Chanyeol's gut sink. Did Jongdae not want gifts from him? It disappears quickly, though, as Jongdae reaches out to take the package from his hands. His hands are wet, Chanyeol realises, leaving dark prints on the paper from where he touches them. "Did you buy this when you went out into town today?" Jongdae asks.

 

Chanyeol blinks, then nods. He wonders how Jongdae knows he had gone out into town today; the logical reason would be that, as his employer, Jongdae is informed of all the comings and goings of his employees. Chanyeol, however, thinks it's more possible that Jongdae had found out because of the one and only Byun Baekhyun, and hides a grimace behind his hand.

 

"You shouldn't have," Jongdae says, but he's beaming up at Chanyeol so radiantly that Chanyeol wants to return to his chambers and grab every single other item he had purchased for Jongdae, just so he can look at it for a while longer. "Thank you so much, Chanyeol. May I open it?"

 

"Sure," Chanyeol replies, gruffly. He's already getting a little embarrassed at this point. "It's not much, really, just. Something that I thought you would enjoy."

 

The lord looks up at him, then tilts his head. "Nonsense," He says, smiling softly. "I'm honoured that you thought about me on your day off, Chanyeol. It means a lot that you bought something back for me, no matter what it is." Jongdae's smile widens, cheeky. "You could've brought me a stick and I would be fine with it."

 

Chanyeol snorts. "I'll keep that in mind. Next trip I take out there you're getting a stick. I won't have to spend any money on you, then."

 

Jongdae removes one hand from where he's busy tugging at the string keeping the package together to hit him lightly on the chest. "How rude! Just because I said it doesn't mean you have to take it to heart!"

 

"Oh, so you didn't mean it?" Chanyeol teases. "I thought it was the thought that counts, Jongdae, I'm disappointed that you'd be so materialistic."

 

That has him shaking with laughter. "Stop!" Jongdae complains, but his eyes are mischievous, his smile pleased. "You're terrible."

 

"I'm hurt," Chanyeol says, one hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Give me the present back, I think I'll keep it for myself instead."

 

Jongdae gasps, hugging it to his chest. "No, it's mine now! No take backs!" He takes two steps back, and Chanyeol takes one forward. Jongdae turns around and bolts, giggling, and Chanyeol follows.

 

He knows Jongdae could outrun him if he so wanted to, but he's keeping at a human pace, letting Chanyeol continue to catch up to him. It’s exhilarating, and there’s something so _familiar_ about this that it has Chanyeol’s chest hurting. He can’t tell what it is, but there’s a flash behind his eyes, of Jongdae, with a lighter hair colour, wearing a different outfit, a gleeful _Chanyeollie!_ echoing in his ears.

 

Before he can figure out what the hell that just was, Jongdae bursts through a familiar looking door, into his study, and quickly runs behind his desk. Chanyeol attempts to follow, but is stopped by a bunch of stuff laid out precariously on the ground, arms waving wildly in an attempt not to fall and crush it all.

 

Jongdae grins his victory at him from behind the desk, quickly pulling at the string and letting the package fall open onto the desk. The candles roll out, one after another, and Jongdae stares at them in silence.

 

Chanyeol swallows awkwardly. Jongdae's smile seems to have frozen on his face before it falters. Chanyeol's so close to wringing his hands; had he done something wrong? Did Jongdae not enjoy the gift? Or had he somehow managed to offend Jongdae without knowing?

 

"Are these-" Jongdae starts, cutting himself off, clearing his throat. "Are these bath candles?"

 

"Yeah," Chanyeol replies, voice gruff. "I got them today, and- I really didn't think you'd run out of them so coincidentally, but. I figured maybe you'd. Like them. If you haven't taken your bath, yet."

 

"I have," Jongdae informs him, and doesn't that make Chanyeol feel like a total loser. Of course, if he had the time to clean himself up first, Jongdae would have had the time to take a bath as well. He feels like an idiot. "Thank you, Chanyeol," Jongdae says, looking grateful. He's in front of Chanyeol within a second, both hands reaching over to take one of Chanyeol's own. "I really, really like them."

 

"It's nothing," Chanyeol shakes his head. "I just- They reminded me of- I thought you'd like them, that's all," He finishes lamely.

 

Jongdae smiles at him, softly, almost secretively. "I love them," He says. "Thank you so much, Chanyeol. It means a lot to me."

 

Chanyeol scratches the back of his head, then, feeling a little awkward with how sincere Jongdae's thanks are. "Yeah, that's all I have for you, really," He chuckles. Liar, his brain supplies helpfully. What about everything else you have back in your room? He pointedly ignores his brain, sticking his hands back in his pockets. "I'll just leave you to it?" He asks, gesturing to all the strange looking items on Jongdae's floor. "I must have disturbed you while you were doing something."

 

"Oh!" Jongdae says, looking behind his back. "I was just making soap!" He turns back to look at Chanyeol, and there's an almost shy expression on his face. "Would you- Would you like to join me?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Chanyeol has absolute zero experience making soap, but he’s not stupid enough to turn down an opportunity to spend more time with Jongdae, especially when Jongdae’s the one who initiates it. “You don’t mind if I stick around?”

 

“Of course not!” Jongdae says, tilting his head to the side, and it’s so stupidly cute. “I’m the one who invited you to stay, aren’t I? Come on, I was just about to decide what I wanted to put in this batch.” He sits down, folding his legs beneath him gracefully and tugging Chanyeol down with him. “So, I have a bunch of oils here,” Jongdae shows them to him, bottle upon bottle of scents, and Chanyeol has way too much fun going through them all.

 

Chanyeol settles on a minty one with a hint of citrus, and Jongdae beams at him as he stirs it into the mixture already in the bucket.

 

“Do you do this often?” Chanyeol asks, picking through the different ingredients. Jongdae has a bunch of flowers laid out, rose petals and stalks of lavender littering the floor. “Make soap?”

 

Jongdae nods. “It helps me relax,” He explains, holding his hand out for the mint leaves Chanyeol’s sniffing. He tears the leaves into smaller pieces, dropping them into the mixture and stirring so they get dispersed. “Sometimes, when I’m a little thirsty, but I can’t take blood from anyone because it hasn’t been long enough, or if I’m feeling stressed out from work.”

 

Chanyeol’s impressed, and he tells Jongdae so. The lord just laughs, shaking his head. “I was taught how to do this by-” He cuts himself off, looking a little pensive, a little sadder, and Chanyeol internally chastises himself. “Well, I’ve done it on my own ever since. It’s a little lonely, doing it myself, because it takes so long, but it’s still fun, nevertheless.”

 

The tone of Jongdae’s voice grates at Chanyeol’s nerves, and he hates the one who left Jongdae this upset, always this sad. His next words make it out of his mouth before he can stop them: “I could do it with you from now on.”

 

Jongdae looks up at him curiously. “I’m sorry?”

 

Chanyeol makes a face, unsure of how to continue, but Jongdae’s nudging him with his elbow expectantly. When he speaks again, his voice is uncertain, small. “I mean. I was thinking, if you said it was lonely on your own, I could. Come join you whenever you’re making a batch? That way you wouldn’t have to do it by yourself.”

 

“Oh!” Jongdae realises, and he lets go of the wooden spoon he’s using, clasping one of Chanyeol’s hands with both of his own. “Would you really? Baekhyun can barely sit still for a couple of minutes and Kyungsoo prefers cooking to soap making.” Jongdae purses his lips, pouting. “It’d mean a lot to me if you did!”

 

Chanyeol blinks, nodding quickly. “Yeah, of course. That’s why I offered.”

 

The lord throws both his arms up above his head, cheering. “Yay! Thank you so much, Chanyeol!” For a moment he looks so much like a child, so clearly happy, and all the stress of being a lord, of having lost the person most important to him, melts off his face. “I’ll make sure to inform you when I’m making another batch,” He nods at Chanyeol. “I’m so excited!”

 

An amused, if confused smile makes it onto Chanyeol’s lips. “I’m only offering my companionship, Jongdae nothing else. I don’t even have any skills which with to help you with.”

 

Jongdae shakes his head, smiling softly. “You have no idea how much this means to me.” His voice is tinged with sadness again, but also something different, something that Chanyeol’s never heard in his voice before. It tears at Chanyeol, that maybe, _maybe_ it could be hope, affection.

 

Chanyeol swallows, then nods again. “Okay,” He says. “Thank you for letting me join you, then.”

 

Jongdae beams at him, then, and Chanyeol can’t help but grin back. They both laugh, and Jongdae returns to the soap. He shows Chanyeol how to prepare the moulds, then pours the soap in, layer by gentle layer. Each one is slightly lighter than the one before, Jongdae showing him the mica powders that he uses to first colour the soap, then lighten - or even darken, if using another type - them after.

 

He places more mint leaves at the top of the soap, precariously balancing them so they lie flat and peek out through the now white liquid as he pours it in. Chanyeol watches him work, notices the little crease between his brows, the pursing of his lips as he concentrates, and commits it all to memory. He may have been invited to continue watching Jongdae work with every batch of soap from now on, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still fascinated with him.

 

When he’s done, Jongdae shifts the moulds to the side precariously. “They just need to dry overnight, now,” He says, packing the rest of his ingredients up into chests. Chanyeol helps, holding something up for Jongdae to tell him where to put them, and Jongdae gives him a grateful smile in return.

 

“Thank you for tonight,” Chanyeol says, grinning. “I just came here to give you a gift, I didn’t expect an entire soap making class.”

 

Jongdae laughs, shaking his head. “I’m the grateful one, Chanyeol. Oh!” He says, running to a corner of the room, poking at something before he moves a mould - different from the one that they just used - to the windowsill, where a table rests with a strange contraption on it. “I made this one last night,” He explains. “It should be set enough to cut, now.”

 

Chanyeol watches as he moves takes one of the sides of the mould apart, sliding the block of soap out with ease. He sets it on what Chanyeol assumes is the soap cutter, peering over the edge to make sure that it’s level, then with one swift, deft motion, pushes the wire cutter down and through the soap.

 

Jongdae picks a bar out of the middle, sliding it out smoothly and showing it to Chanyeol. It’s absolutely beautiful, soft blues mixing with even softer swirls of yellow, like a sun in the clear, morning sky. Chanyeol takes it in both hands to admire when Jongdae thrusts it at him, and he holds it up, close to his nose, taking in its clean, almost linen scent.

 

“It smells really good,” Chanyeol tells Jongdae, admiring the pattern on the soap one last time before he hands it back. “And it looks so good, Jongdae, you did a wonderful job on it.”

 

Jongdae smiles, but raises an eyebrow at him when he attempts to hand it back to him. “What are you doing?” He asks, sounding amused. “It’s a gift, silly.”

 

“What?”

 

Jongdae tilts his head, blinking cutely at him. “The soap? It’s a gift. As way of saying thanks for joining me today,” Jongdae nods, and Chanyeol can just imagine floppy, puppy-like ears on his head. It’s a rather jarring, but not unwelcome image. “You’ll get a bar from every batch I make from now on, Chanyeol!”

 

“Oh, no,” Chanyeol shakes his head. “No, these are _your_ creations, I couldn’t possibly-”

 

“Accept them?” Jongdae asks, smiling. “Yes, you can. In fact, you’re not leaving until you agree to take it with you.”

 

That gets a grin out of Chanyeol. “Oh,” He teases. “Is that how it is? The big, scary vampire lord is going to keep his poor stable hand locked up in his study if he doesn’t obey him. This is _tyranny_ , my lord.”

 

Jongdae makes a strange gurgling sound, launching himself at Chanyeol. “Shut up, you’re _incorrigible_ ,” He says, knocking the both of them over. He seems to have known that there was nothing behind Chanyeol that would hurt him as they land on the soft carpet. Jongdae narrows his eyes at him, and Chanyeol, entirely too comfortable despite having someone lying atop him, grins back at him, unrepentant. He regrets it almost immediately after, when Jongdae’s fingers sneak to his extremely ticklish sides.

 

“Wait,” Chanyeol manages to get out when Jongdae starts his assault, and then Chanyeol is desperately squirming beneath him, Jongdae’s cackles ringing in his ears. “No, wait, Jongdae, stop!”

 

Jongdae makes a humming noise, but his fingers never stop moving, and Chanyeol trembles beneath him, trying not to kick out. “Only if you agree to take the soap with you. And every soap after.”

 

“Okay!” Chanyeol shouts. “Okay, I agree, I yield, please!”

 

Jongdae finally pulls back, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “Good,” He says, satisfied. “I look forward to you here for the next batch.”

 

Chanyeol lies back, unable to answer from how hard he’s still panting. “You’re-” He gasps. “A _menace_.”

 

“Yes, yes,” Jongdae waves him off airily, still sitting on him with his legs bracketing his abdomen. He doesn’t seem to concerned about it, and so Chanyeol swallows down the panic that’s threatening to crawl its way up his throat with this realisation. “I’m a tyrant, a menace, a _terrible monster_. You know,” Jongdae sends him an amused look. “All this could have been avoided if you had just _accepted_ taking the bar of soap in the first place.”

 

“Or,” Chanyeol counters. “You could’ve just convinced me like a normal person instead of, you know, resorting to unfair tactics.”

 

“But where’s the fun in that?” Jongdae asks, laughing. “This was _much more_ interesting, don’t you think?”

 

“For you,” Chanyeol grumbles. “ _Tyrant_.”

 

That has Jongdae laughing again, and he’s _still_ atop Chanyeol, thank you very much, brain, didn’t need that reminder right now. His eyes have narrowed into crescents, crinkling cutely at the sides, and the ends of his lips are curling up with laughter. He’s very cute, and very much still _sitting on top of Chanyeol_ , and he looks so comfortable, so used to it, that it makes Chanyeol’s heart surge up into his throat.

  
With an entirely foolish, absolutely _stupid_ surge of courage, Chanyeol sits up, cups Jongdae’s cheek with one hand, and kisses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it only took 17000 words, in the end.
> 
> kudos and comments make a happy author! thank you for reading, if you're still along for the ride!


	5. v.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drags hands down face i'm sorry this took so long

There’s quite a few pros to kissing a vampire with no warning, Chanyeol thinks, and one of them is probably that they have such quick reflexes that when said kiss is sprung upon them they don’t take very long to think everything through and respond.

 

The second Chanyeol kisses him, Jongdae is stiff atop him, but in the next he’s kissing back, deep and desperate, and Chanyeol moans into the kiss. There’s something so undeniably _hot_ about the way Jongdae’s sitting in his lap, and Chanyeol shudders, wrapping both arms around his waist as Jongdae’s arms find their way to his shoulders.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jongdae manages to get out, lips still pressed against his. “God, Chanyeol, are you- Are you sure you want to?”

 

Chanyeol pulls away, just for a moment, to look at Jongdae. He’s pupils are blown wide, and there’s a flush dusting his face. Chanyeol thinks that he’s never seen anyone more beautiful. “Yes,” He replies, voice hoarse. “I want this; I want you. Jongdae, _please_.”

 

Jongdae groans, and he leans forward to press their lips together again. Chanyeol finds himself at a loss, unsure of how to bring Jongdae pleasure but desperately wanting to. He moves with Jongdae, lets him lead, and finds himself pressing ever closer, wanting more of what Jongdae had to give.

 

“No,” Chanyeol whines when Jongdae makes to pull away. “Want more, Jongdae, please.”

 

“Gods, Chanyeol, you have no idea what you do to me,” Jongdae manages to get out. He pushes Chanyeol down with a hand on his shoulder so that he’s lying on the ground again, leaning down to rest his weight atop him. Chanyeol‘s breath hitches when Jongdae kisses him again, deeper, harder, this time, more desperate, like Chanyeol is oxygen and he’s a man drowning, deprived of it.

 

There’s something addicting about this, about kissing Jongdae. Chanyeol isn’t sure what it is, but it’s _familiar_ , almost, and the more he kisses Jongdae, the more it feels like he’s done this before. He knows how to tug gently on Jongdae’s bottom lip with his teeth to get Jongdae moaning, how to tilt his head _just so_ that Jongdae gasps into the kiss. It feels comforting, and Chanyeol wants nothing more than to stay here, like this, forever.

 

“Chanyeol,” Jongdae says when he pulls away, lips pink and swollen, and Chanyeol shifts at the sight, arousal spiking. “Chanyeol, this, for me. It’s not. I don’t.”

 

Chanyeol’s heart sinks. Jongdae could’ve just been alone for a long time, without anyone. Chanyeol kissing him had just been the catalyst, the start of something he had been deprived of for years on end, probably.

 

His expression must have shown on his face, because Jongdae quickly brings his hands to Chanyeol’s cheeks, cupping them gently. “No,” He says, shaking his head. “No, Chanyeol, that’s not what I meant. I mean, this. You’re really important to me, Chanyeol, and I- I _like_ you, this isn’t just a fling to me.” Jongdae looks so nervous, now, so unsure of himself, and it’s a look that Chanyeol has never seen on him.

 

His words, however, have Chanyeol’s heart surging up into his throat. The thought that Jongdae would _like him back_ , while it’s one that Chanyeol has entertained, isn’t one that he thought would ever be fulfilled. He stares at Jongdae, in disbelief. Perhaps for a moment too long, because Jongdae swallows and climbs off of him awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” He says, sitting primly with his hands folded on his lap, looking down. “I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry.”

 

“Wait,” Chanyeol says, finally managing to get back to his senses. He sits up and looks beseechingly at Jongdae. “I’m the one who kissed you first, you shouldn’t. I like you,” He confesses, feeling warmth crawl up his cheeks. “I like you a lot, and I didn’t think _you’d_ ever like me back.”

 

Jongdae’s expression softens, even if he still looks a little hesitant. “Chanyeol,” He says, smiling softly. “You came to the manor to find work, and I treated you so horribly, but you didn’t hold that against me. You still tried to be my _friend_ , spent time with me after I apologised. You’re interested in a passion of mine, even though you don’t have to be at all. You even bought me a gift when you went to town, thought about me on your day off.” Jongdae’s smile gets a little wider each time, like very little thing that Chanyeol had done makes him happier when he thinks about it. “After all of that, how could I _not_ fall for you?”

 

Chanyeol makes a sound in the back of his throat, Jongdae’s words making something surge through him. To hear Jongdade speak about him so fondly, and to see his smile grow with each sentence, means more to him than Jongdae would probably ever know.

 

He swallows, then gathers his courage and reaches out, slowly, tentatively. “Do you- Do you want this, then? Us?” He shakes, a little, still unsure, still not confident that Jongdae would want _him_ of all people.

 

“Of course I do,” Jongdae replies, and his voice is so soft, so tender, that Chanyeol feels tears prickling at his eyes. “Do _you_?”

 

“Yes,” Chanyeol replies, nodding. “I want this, want you, Jongdae.” He’s repeating his words from when he first kissed Jongdae, and it’s as though that is what gives Jongdae confirmation and the confidence to beam radiantly at him.

 

Jongdae gets to his feet, then, and holds on hand out to Chanyeol. His gaze is so gentle that Chanyeol wants to fall into it, and he takes that hand in his own, lets Jongdae tug him to his feet. “Come, Chanyeol,” Jongdae calls, moving closer. There’s something in his eyes, like relief, like adoration, and Chanyeol can’t help but lean down, braver, now, with Jongdae’s words echoing in his mind, to kiss him.

 

It’s chaste, this time. A mere peck, the gentle brushing of lips, but it makes Chanyeol smile into it nevertheless, tightening his grip on Jongdae’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “You’re so beautiful,” Chanyeol whispers against Jongdae’s lips. He shifts, adjusting so that his forehead is against Jongdae’s and he can look into his eyes, warm and inviting and the prettiest brown he’s ever seen. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”

 

“You should take a look at yourself,” Jongdae murmurs back, voice just as low. “You’re stunning, Chanyeol, and so _wonderful_. I can’t believe I get to have you again.”

 

 _Again?_ Chanyeol’s brow furrows, and he voices that thought. Jongdae almost seems to stiffen in his arms, albeit minutely, but the moment is gone so quickly that Chanyeol isn’t sure if he’d imagined it or not.

 

Jongdae gives a laugh, and it sounds as though he’s nervous, but really, what did he have to be nervous about? “I got lost in my own thoughts,” He admits. “I just thought about being able to hold you whenever I want, kiss you again and again.”

 

Chanyeol chuckles at that, leans down to nuzzle his nose against Jongdae’s in an eskimo kiss. “You’re adorable,” He says. “The cutest.”

 

“You just have that good taste, huh?” Jongdae teases, but his grin is bright and radiant, like the sun.

 

Chanyeol snorts, making Jongdae laugh, and he can’t help but press another kiss to his lips, so prettily curled up at the ends. It thrills him, to know that he can do this, now, can wrap his arms around Jongdae and kiss him, whenever he wants. Jongdae kisses back, just as eager, and it makes affection rush through Chanyeol, filling him and spreading throughout his whole body, down to the very tips of his toes.

 

Then, Chanyeol, as the world’s most romantic man, chooses that moment to yawn.

 

Jongdae immediately bursts into peals of laughter, hiding his giggling behind one hand. “I’m sorry,” He apologises in between giggles. “I’ve kept you up far too long.”

 

“It’s not that late,” Chanyeol defends, but Jongdae just shakes his head, keeps looking at him with beautifully crinkled eyes.

 

“You should head to bed,” Jongdae says, but he links their fingers together, as though unwilling to let Chanyeol go. “You still have work tomorrow, don’t you? I would say not to work so hard, but that would be playing favourites, and Baekhyun would have my head.”

 

“Who cares about what Baekhyun thinks,” Chanyeol sulks, not wanting to leave Jongdae just yet. “I don’t want to go to sleep.”

 

Jongdae laughs, lifting their linked fingers up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there that has Chanyeol flushing. “Unfortunately, he _is_ my best friend, and you need sleep.”

 

Chanyeol sighs, but knows that Jongdae is right. Regardless of his relationship with Jongdae, he did still have a job to do the next day, and he should be well rested in order to do it. “Yeah, I guess I do,” Chanyeol gives in, slumping. He makes a pitiful face at Jongdae. “One more kiss?”

 

Jongdae laughs at his words, but he gives in regardless, standing up on the tips of his toes, hands braced on Chanyeol's shoulders for balance. Chanyeol hums happily when their lips touch, wrapping his arms around Jongdae's waist to pull him closer.

 

Jongdae just goes with his movements, and Chanyeol smiles into the kiss, leaning down to deepen the kiss. A desperate noise makes its way from Jongdae's throat that has Chanyeol growling.

 

"You're," Chanyeol gasps, pulling back abruptly and making Jongdae whine. "So hot, god. If you want me to go to sleep you need to stop doing that." Chanyeol is aware that he's very, _very_ affected by Jongdae, and that they should probably stop if Chanyeol wants to sleep instead of spend his entire night being bombarded by, uh, _images_ of Jongdae.

 

That makes Jongdae pout, but he pulls back nonetheless. He _does_ hold his hand out for Chanyeol to take, which Chanyeol does so happily. "I'll walk you back to your room."

 

It makes Chanyeol happier than it probably should to hear that, and he perks up. It's definitely not spending the whole night, cuddled up next to Jongdae, but it's something, at least, and he gets to spend just a little more time with him. He tightens his grip on Jongdae's hand, linking their fingers together and beaming down at him.

 

"You're so cute," Jongdae shakes his head fondly, eyes crinkled prettily into crescent moons. "Honestly, how do you go about life this adorable?"

 

"You're one to talk," Chanyeol retorts. "Whenever you smile it makes me feel all gooey on the inside." He slaps one hand over his mouth, then, not having intended on saying that, but it just makes Jongdae giggle as they walk down first the hallway of Jongdae's own wing of the house, and then the stairs to get to the staff's rooms.

 

"I'm glad I have that effect on you," Jongdae teases, eyes bright. "You make me feel the same way, too, you know? I really, really like seeing you smile."

 

Chanyeol flushes a deep red that Jongdae laughs at, again, and by then they're already outside Chanyeol's room door. It makes Chanyeol internally curse; he'd always thought that the manor was unnecessarily large, but now that they took less than five minutes to get from Jongdae's study to Chanyeol's room, he finds himself wishing it was bigger just so they could've had more time together.

 

"Thank you for walking me back," Chanyeol says, squeezing Jongdae's hand in gratitude. "I really enjoyed tonight."

 

"You're welcome back any time, Chanyeol," Jongdae replies, smiling softly. "You don't have to wait for me to come fetch you at the end of the hallway; you can just walk right in."

 

Chanyeol can't help waggling his eyebrows. "Ooh, _any time_ , huh? Scandalous."

 

"Shut up," Jongdae snorts, slapping him gently on the chest with the hand not held in Chanyeol's. "You're such a menace."

 

"But you like me," Chanyeol says triumphantly, like that makes him the winner in the conversation. "So what does that say about you?"

 

Jongdae shakes his head, mock sad. "That I'm a very, very poor decision maker."

 

"Hey!" Chanyeol laughs. "You said I was cute mere minutes ago!"

 

A shrug, and Jongdae says, "You can be cute _and_ a menace. Like a little puppy, one that doesn't know how to stop chewing on the furniture."

 

Chanyeol doesn't know whether he should be happy that Jongdae thought he was as cute as a puppy, or offended that Jongdae has just compared him to an animal that chewed on furniture. His conflict must have shown on his face because Jongdae laughs, again, and leans up to press a soft kiss to his lips. "You should head to bed, silly," Jongdae tugs gently on his earlobe. "Don't think so hard, your head will explode."

 

"And you call _me_ the menace," Chanyeol mumbles, but moves one hand to the doorknob to push the room to his door open. "Good night, Jongdae."

 

Jongdae smiles at him, standing outside the door and waving as Chanyeol enters his room. "Good night, Chanyeol. Sleep well."

 

Chanyeol looks at Jongdae for a couple of seconds longer, unwilling to let this beautiful image of Jongdae go, then finally gives in when Jongdae narrows his eyes at him threateningly. He closes the door softly, hears Jongdae's soft footsteps echo and disappear down the hallway as he leaves.

 

He walks to his closet, taking his pyjamas out and changing into them, working on auto-pilot the entire time. He can't stop thinking about Jongdae and his pretty, gorgeous smile. The feel of his lips pressed against Chanyeol's, how small but absolute _wonderful_ he had felt in Chanyeol's arms.

 

After washing his face and brushing his teeth, Chanyeol grabs a glass of water and starts to chug it: his nightly routine.

 

"Wow, someone's thirsty."

 

The voice shocks Chanyeol out of his reverie, with the added benefit of him choking on his water and causing him to sputter in an attempt not to die.

 

Byun Baekhyun cackles at him, and Chanyeol rolls his eyes, because who else would it have been? Baekhyun's already in his own night clothes, unfairly tiny and cute in his silk pyjamas - although, his mind helpfully supplies, nowhere near as cute as Jongdae - but that look on his face makes him look more devilish.

 

Then Baekhyun's eyes narrow, and he's stomping forward to shove his face into Chanyeol's personal space, gaze moving from his flushed cheeks to his lips. "Have you been- _kissing someone_?"

 

Chanyeol feels warmth shoot up into his cheeks, and it makes Baekhyun's eyes narrow even further in suspicion. Pressed up against the closets and with nowhere to go, Chanyeol can't avoid Baekhyun's scrutiny. "You _did_!" Baekhyun flat out screeches. Chanyeol realises, belatedly, that his lips are probably still kiss swollen from making out with Jongdae. "Did you kiss _Jongdae_?"

 

"I- Yeah, he-"

 

Chanyeol is saved when the door slams open and an irate looking Kyungsoo is standing in the doorway, looking murderous. Baekhyun gives a squeak and quickly pushes Chanyeol to the front, hiding behind him and using him as a shield.

 

"Park Chanyeol," Kyungsoo says, voice low and dangerous. "You'll go back to your room right now if you know what's good for you."

 

And Chanyeol's not about to argue with _that_ , even though he knows Baekhyun will probably find some way to get back at him for this betrayal; it's not like Chanyeol was on Baekhyun's side anyway, unwilling human shield that he was. He quickly strides out of the kitchen, much to Baekhyun's voiced dismay.

 

"Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo calls, last minute, that frightening gaze turned on him. "If what Baekhyun says is true, know I will have your heart should you ever hurt Jongdae."

 

Chanyeol stiffens, then Baekhyun's own agreeing _Yeah!_ is drowned out by the door slamming shut in Chanyeol's face as Kyungsoo closes it. Chanyeol blinks at the door, then shrugs and walks back to his room. The distant scream that moves further and further away from Chanyeol - presumably from Baekhyun running through the hallways with an irate Kyungsoo chasing him - makes him chuckle.

 

Kyungsoo's words replay over and over in his ears, about Chanyeol hurting Jongdae. He climbs into bed, and images of Jongdae's smile flash again and again in his mind's eye. He laughs to himself, pulling the covers up to his chin and grinning at nothing in particular.

 

Jongdae's smile is so, so beautiful, Chanyeol would go through hell and back to protect it. Kyungsoo - and Baekhyun - had absolutely nothing to worry about.

 

He closes his eyes, still smiling softly, and falls asleep reliving Jongdae's kisses, both the hungry ones and the soft ones, and that angelic voice of his telling him: _I like you_.

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol wakes up the next day with a name on his lips, and he forces himself to stumble out of bed without too much fuss. He runs a hand through his hair and makes his way unsteadily into the bathroom to go through his morning routine.

 

When he finally gets to the kitchen for breakfast, there's a steaming pot of rice waiting for him, and numerous side dishes. He spots spicy stewed fish, _galbi_ , stir-fried vegetables, _oi naengguk_ , and a large plate of _kimchi_. This type of spread, especially when Kyungsoo's around, is typical.

 

The man sitting at the table beaming at him is not.

 

"Chanyeol!" Jongdae cheers, bounding up from where he had been sitting, chatting with Baekhyun, the moment Chanyeol walks in through the door.

 

He gets a kiss on the lips, Jongdae's hand looped gently around his waist, and honestly, this is such a better good morning than the usual. The usual being Baekhyun crowing his name with a wicked grin on his face and in a suggestive tone of voice.

 

Jongdae's lips pressed against his, petal soft against petal soft, makes Chanyeol feel so happy that he thinks he might just melt into a puddle on the ground. He doesn't, because he knows that that would just make Baekhyun's crowing get even worse, and Chanyeol doesn't need that in his life. He's convinced that absolutely nobody does.

 

" _Wow_ ," Sehun says, not bothering to mask the awe in his voice. "You've been up to something ever since that conversation in the gardens, huh?"

 

Jongdae ignores Sehun for the most part, pulling away after a moment to beam brightly up at him. "Good morning, Chanyeol," Jongdae greets, and Chanyeol feels a surge of happiness bubble up in his throat.

 

"Good morning, Jongdae," Chanyeol whispers against Jongdae's lips. "Did you have a good day?"

 

"Absolutely wonderful," Jongdae murmurs in reply. "How could I not have had one, after last night?”

 

Baekhyun - of course, who else? - chooses this exact moment to start making gagging noises in the background. "Okay, stop, stop. I don't care how long we've been friends, Kim Jongdae, I do not want to hear the details of your sex life."

 

Even Kyungsoo, who sometimes looks like he would rather stab himself in the eyeballs with a sharp object than agree with Baekhyun, is nodding solemnly into his breakfast. Sehun isn't much different, looking a little green around the gills.

 

Jongdae picks something up and flings it at Baekhyun's head so quickly that Chanyeol couldn't even tell what the object was, but the _ouch, what the fuck?_ that it elicits from Baekhyun is more than satisfying to hear. "All we did was make soap together, asshole," Jongdae bares his teeth at Baekhyun. "Something that you refuse to do with me, might I add."

 

"Oh, sure," Baekhyun rolls his eyes. "Make _soap_. That's why Chanyeol was in here last night with flushed cheeks and swollen lips, right? Because you made _soap_ together."

 

"Mm," Jongdae smirks, looking way too pleased with himself, tightening his grip on Chanyeol's hand. "Well. We did a little more than make soap together."

 

Kyungsoo makes a face into his rice, then proceeds to grab his plate and hightail it out of there, presumably going to finish his meal in the sitting room. Sehun looks down at his own plate, at the door, then shrugs and continues to eat. Baekhyun just looks like all his birthdays have come at once.

 

Jongdae laughs, then, and tugs Chanyeol into a chair. He's about to protest that he hasn't gotten his breakfast yet when a bowl of rice and cutlery materialises in front of him, one vampire lord back in his seat with his chin propped up on his hands, smiling cheekily at him.

 

Chanyeol shakes his head fondly as Baekhyun starts protesting loudly about how Jongdae never used his super vampire speed to help him out like that. Sehun makes the unwise choice of muttering that Baekhyun isn't the one that Jongdae's dating and gets a genial smile from him.

 

"I'm his _best friend_!" Baekhyun shouts, pointing accusingly at Jongdae. "Whatever happened to bros before hoes?"

 

Chanyeol is about halfway through his meal at this point. Sehun has finished his, and is sipping at his glass of water primly, watching all of this go down with the air of someone who has absolutely zero stakes and is just in it for the entertainment.

 

"Sehun," Jongdae calls sweetly. "Didn't you say that you wanted to get some new flowers for the gardens the other day? Why don't you take Baekhyun with you and tell him what you need so that he can put orders in with the nursery?"

 

Sehun, it seems, takes the hint extremely quickly. Chanyeol snickers into his rice, much to Jongdae's amusement and Baekhyun's wailed dismay. "Now he's getting rid of me! To spend time with his new boytoy! Sehun, look at this absolute betrayal!"

 

"Come on, hyung," Sehun deadpans, tugging Baekhyun out the door by a firm grip on his arm. "Leave them alone, we have work we need to do."

 

Baekhyun's yells of _Well, so does Chanyeol_ , _but Jongdae's sitting in there playing favourites!_ slowly fades as Sehun presumably tugs him further and further down the hallway and out the back door into the gardens.

 

"God," Jongdae breathes a sigh of relief when the door swings shut behind them. "I thought I was going to have to gag Baekhyun to get him to shut up."

 

Chanyeol shoves a spoonful of rice and kimchi into his mouth, one eyebrow raised in amusement. "He's your best friend."

 

"And sometimes I really wonder why," Jongdae shakes his head, but there's a note of fondness in his voice, and Chanyeol knows that Jongdae cares for Baekhyun more than he's currently showing. "Mm, but now that I finally have you alone and can hear my own thoughts, how was your night? Did you sleep well?"

 

Chanyeol laughs, because that's such a Jongdae thing to say. "I did," Chanyeol says, using his spoon to point at Jongdae. "And I dreamt about you all night."

 

"Oh?" Jongdae grins, cheeky. "Is that what you did? All good dreams, I hope."

 

"The very best," Chanyeol replies, nodding seriously. "Only the best for you, my lord, after all."

 

Jongdae cackles, hitting him gently. Chanyeol is always amazed at how Jongdae can control his own strength, considering he's probably strong enough to shatter Chanyeol's bones if he doesn't reign it in. "You're the worst!"

 

"Last night you said I was the cutest," Chanyeol pouts, turning sad, teary eyes onto Jongdae. "Are you already changing your mind? But we just got together!" He cries a little crocodile tears, turning his head to hide his mock sorrow in his now almost finished meal.

 

"Poor baby," Jongdae simpers, reaching out to turn Chanyeol's head with a hand on his chin. "Should I kiss it better?"

 

Chanyeol wrinkles his nose, looking down at his food. "Maybe after I finish eating," He suggests. "My mouth is all greasy now."

 

Jongdae giggles, then nods. "I knew you were smart! Now hurry and finish your meal so I can have _mine_."

 

That gets a raised eyebrow out of Chanyeol. He's not sure if Jongdae means the kisses they're going to share once Chanyeol's rinsed his mouth or if Jongdae was actually going to drink from one of the staff members in the manor. He feels something like jealousy prick at him; he has no idea how intimate the act of taking blood is, but he doesn't want Jongdae to have his mouth that close to anyone's neck, romantic or not.

 

"Chanyeol kisses," Jongdae sings, looking way too chirpy for the time of day.

 

Chanyeol rolls his eyes fondly, then finishes his food and takes his plate over to the sink, dropping it and his cutlery into the warm, soapy water. Jongdae immediately appears in front of him, lips pursed in a pout and on the tips of his toes. Chanyeol has to push him away gently, a hand over his mouth. "I haven't washed my mouth, Jongdae," He snorts. "Be patient."

 

"Be patient, he says," Jongdae mutters under his breath as he follows Chanyeol into the bathroom, where Chanyeol makes an entire show out of washing his mouth clean with soap and water, to which Jongdae only whines impatiently and tugs on his shirt, trying to get him to hurry up.

 

"I'm thirsty," Chanyeol says, shaking his head when Jongdae about climbs him in an attempt to get a kiss. "Let me get a glass of water first, then kisses, okay?" Okay, so at this point he's really just teasing Jongdae; he does want a glass of water, but he's not _dying_ of thirst, he could actually wait till he's given Jongdae the kisses that he wants. It's just so much fun teasing him like this.

 

Jongdae growls under his breath, but follows Chanyeol obediently to the kitchen again, where Chanyeol finds a glass of water pressed into his hands before he can even walk towards the cabinet that holds all the glasses. He laughs at Jongdae's scowl, lifting the glass to his lips without breaking eye contact, swallowing the cool liquid deliberately.

 

The glass is snatched away from him the moment Chanyeol finishes his drink, and he has a very insistent vampire crowding him against and pressing him up against the wall. "Come on, Chanyeol," Jongdae whines softly. "Please kiss me."

 

Chanyeol smiles, finally giving in and wrapping his arms around Jongdae's waist. He feels the lord's own go around his shoulders, and leans down to press their lips together. They kiss softly, languidly, like it's the end of the day, like Chanyeol doesn't have a full work day in front of him. They take their time, enjoying just being held by the other, Chanyeol finding it hard to breathe when they pull apart and Jongdae grins at him like he's just won the lottery.

 

"Gods above, I could spend all day just kissing you," Jongdae gets out in between pants, grinning like an idiot. "You know what? We should do that. Screw your work, let's just make out all day."

 

" _No._ "

 

They jump apart, startled - but only just, still loosely encircled in each other's arms - at the sudden voice. Kyungsoo stands in the doorway, holding his own plate in one hand and the doorknob in the other. "The horses won't take care of themselves, so Chanyeol has to go to work, and _you_ ," Kyungsoo points at Jongdae with his index finger, the other three still wrapped around the plate. Chanyeol internally commends Kyungsoo's dexterity. "You need to be heading to bed. You have a meeting with the other lords at tea time tomorrow, so you have to be up early."

 

"Aww, come _on_ , Kyungsoo!" Jongdae sulks. "I'll be up on time, I promise, just let me-"

 

" _Absolutely not_ ," Kyungsoo glares, gaze demanding obedience and otherwise promising certain death. "If I have to drag you kicking and screaming out of bed this evening, I will shove one of your soap bars up your ass, Kim Jongdae. Go to _bed_."

 

Jongdae huffs, sulking, but gives in. "Fine. But I get to walk Chanyeol to the stables."

 

"I don't care what you do; if I go up to your bedroom in ten minutes and you're not in that bed," Kyungsoo trails off, but waves his fist threateningly, and everyone in the room knows that _that_ means.

 

Keeping to his words, Jongdae does walk Chanyeol to the stables - hand in hand, Chanyeol's heart squeals - where he stands on the inside of the doorway that leads outside. It wouldn't hurt him to leave; Jongdae had entered the stables before, of course, but it did seem like Kyungsoo would go through on his threat, so Jongdae wisely chooses to say goodbye inside the manor.

 

"I hope you have a wonderful day, Chanyeol," Jongdae wishes him, still holding onto one of his hands like he doesn't want to let go. Truth be told, Chanyeol doesn't want to, either, but _responsibilities_. "Don't overwork yourself, okay?"

 

"Never," Chanyeol assures him. He knows his limits more than anything else, and honestly, his workload that day wasn't all that taxing. "You sleep well, okay? You have a big day ahead of you, if what Kyungsoo says is true."

 

Jongdae shrugs. "It's just a couple of meetings. It's not difficult, just. Really taxing. I'll be okay."

 

"Still, you should be well rested for you," Chanyeol insists. "Don't make it any harder for yourself than it has to be. Promise?"

 

That gets him a smile and a nod. "Promise," Jongdae smiles up at him. He tilts his head, suddenly, then grins sheepishly at Chanyeol. "Kyungsoo's left the kitchen," He informs. "I should go, before he really does shove that bar of soap up where the sun doesn't shine."

 

Chanyeol laughs, and Jongdae leans forward to press one last kiss on his cheek, then he's rushing down the hallway, vampire speed and all, around the corner and out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! kudos & comments a happy author does make!


	6. vi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little shorter, this time round, because this part of the fic was only supposed to be a couple hundred words but chanyeol decided to take over and run with it

Jongdae, Chanyeol learns, despite how often he sees him roaming the manor, is actually an extremely busy man. The only reason Chanyeol has managed to catch sight of him is because the large distance between the manor and the castle where political meetings take place is very easily covered when one possesses super speed.

 

Chanyeol stomps into the manor, soaking wet from the rain outside, days after he had last seen Jongdae. Baekhyun has taken to smiling knowingly at him whenever he sees Chanyeol grumpily trekking through the manor. It definitely isn't because he hasn't seen Jongdae since breakfast days ago.

 

"Jongdae should be returning in a few hours," Kyungsoo informs, looking additionally stern that day, bulky glasses perched precariously on the tip of his nose. He looks a little more frazzled than he usually does, but that might be because Baekhyun and Sehun had had a mud fight in the back gardens and dragged half of said back garden in with them when they walked into the manor.

 

Chanyeol had heard the commotion all the way from the stables, Chen and Loey the only horses not spooked by the echo that was Kyungsoo's loud bellow.

 

He hadn't expected for those words to make him as happy as they do, but he sends Kyungsoo a beam and gets rolled eyes as a response. It makes him work even harder, determined to finish all the work that he has that day before Jongdae returns so that he can spend more time with him.

 

Time seems to both fly and crawl by. Chanyeol finds that he has a huge number of tasks he has to complete, but whenever he starts one, he finds that he finishes it quicker than he would have ever imagined, so deep in his own thoughts. His body moves on auto-pilot, going through the motions again and again.

 

The sun is well on its way to setting by the time he makes it back into the manor, sweating bullets and back aching. He heads off to the showers first, scrubbing at his body and getting rid of the grime left behind from his day at work. He thinks about Jongdae - still, even after all the thinking he's done about said man - and how he's doing, whether or not he's okay, if he's tired out by all his duties.

 

It hits Chanyeol, then, halfway through shampooing and rinsing his hair to get rid of the suds; he misses Jongdae. He _misses_ him, an ache so deep he can almost feel it in his bones, spreading over his heart and festering. He hadn't even known he could _miss_ someone like that, so much, so _hard._

 

He tries to process this information as he dries himself off with a towel, sliding into clean clothes and makes his way to the kitchen. The aroma of stir-fried meat wafts towards him, and his stomach growls.

 

He pushes the door open and is greeted by a spread of what seems to be _bibimbap_ ingredients, set out for them to pick and choose as they liked. Baekhyun waves at him from where he's already seated at the table, bowl filled with what seems like every ingredient available except the cucumbers.

 

Chanyeol nods at Kyungsoo, who's frying the meat with sesame seeds and what looks like a dash of pepper. He grabs himself a bowl of rice and fills it to the brim, mouth already watering. "Please?" Chanyeol requests, flashing Kyungsoo what he hopes is a dashing smile, asking for the meat that he's just finished cooking, fresh and piping hot.

 

Baekhyun materialises next to him, bowl in hand, also sticking his bowl out at Kyungsoo. They wear the same impish smile, practically begging Kyungsoo for the meat. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and doles out small portions of meat into their bowls, putting the rest - a larger portion, Chanyeol notices, into one of them - into two others.

 

Baekhyun makes his way back to his seat, while Chanyeol picks out the rest of his ingredients and squeezes a sizeable dollop of _gochujang_ and a sprinkle of spring onions to top it all off. Sehun walks into the room at this time, and Chanyeol realises that the bowl with more meat is actually for _Sehun_ , and not Kyungsoo himself. He raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything, praying to all the gods listening that Baekhyun hasn't noticed. He really just wants a peaceful dinner tonight.

 

Maybe there really was someone out there looking out for him, Chanyeol thinks, when Baekhyun continues digging into his meal with gusto, and remains quiet. Or at least, as quiet as Baekhyun can be. There's lots of inane chatter, a couple of flinches when Sehun and Baekhyun discuss how much fun they had had during their mud fight and Kyungsoo looks up from his meal to glare at them. All in all, a pretty good dinner.

 

Chanyeol takes Kyungsoo's offered cup of tea to the sitting room, where the place is lit up by a roaring fire. Chanyeol smiles, curling himself up on a corner of the couch and sipping it, watching as Kyungsoo settles down with his own cup of tea and a book.

 

Sehun and Baekhyun are creating a ruckus somewhere out in the hallway, and Chanyeol considers it a small miracle that Kyungsoo hasn't gotten up to hit them both over the head with his thick, hardcover book. They wisely quieten down, however, when they come into the room to see Kyungsoo's head buried in his tome.

 

"Had fun today?" Chanyeol asks softly when Sehun sits hiimself down next to him. "I heard Kyungsoo's yelling all the way from the stables.

 

Kyungsoo's head emerges slightly - only _slightly_ \- from his book at the reminder, but Chanyeol just grins at him, and that head quickly dips back down. Sehun hums, almost upending Chanyeol's cup of tea, which is quickly placed down on the coffee table; it wouldn't do to anger Kyungsoo any more than they already had that day, and a tea-stained rug was definitely going to do that.

 

"Mmhmm," Sehun replies, staring at the fire. "I won, of course, no matter what Baekhyun says."

 

"That's wrong and you know it, Oh Sehun," Baekhyun sniffs haughtily from his perch on the armchair. "Obviously _I_ won."

 

Chanyeol just watches this exchange in amusement, one eyebrow raised. Sehun gets up from beside him to start a tickle fight with Baekhyun, one that's even funnier because they're both desperately trying to keep their voices down in order not to annoy Kyungsoo.

 

The front door creaks open, and all heads turn towards the source of the sound. Chanyeol's heart leaps its way into his throat.

 

Jongdae walks through the door, looking vaguely exhausted, but also relieved to be back. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun abandon their spots immediately, the former disappearing through the door that leads to the hallway and the latter coming up to hang onto Jongdae's arm.

 

"Jongdae!" Baekhyun crows his greeting. "Welcome back! How did it go? Deal with any old, balding ministers that try to hit on you this time?"

 

Jealously flares in Chanyeol's gut, but Jongdae just laughs and shakes his head. "Not this time, no," Jongdae replies. "I have a couple of documents I need from my study prepared, though, if you could get it done for me?" He hands Baekhyun a small piece of paper. Baekhyun looks down at the list briefly, wrinkles his nose in poorly disguised disgust, then is disappearing through the same door that Kyungsoo had left through.

 

Sehun, amazingly, has somehow disappeared from the room during this time. Chanyeol blames his lack of observation on the fact that Jongdae, who he has seen in days, is standing right in front of him, hair wind swept and eyes sparkling.

 

"Hello," Jongdae smiles at him, walking closer to the couch. Chanyeol stands, coming around the corner of the couch to wrap his arms around Jongdae's slim waist. "I missed you, Chanyeol."

 

Chanyeol laughs breathlessly. He leans down to press his forehead against Jongdae's. "I missed you, too," Chanyeol admits. "More than you could ever imagine."

 

"Oh, I don't know," Jongdae chuckles, tilting his head slightly so he can press a kiss to the corner of Chanyeol's mouth, soft and chaste. "I missed you a great deal while I was gone. I could hardly concentrate on the meetings; all I could think about was you."

 

"That makes two of us."

 

"Mm, does it?"

 

Chanyeol nods vigorously, which makes Jongdae laugh, eyes crinkling cutely into crescents. Chanyeol's heart about seizes in his chest.

 

Kyungsoo announces his return by clearing his throat. Jongdae doesn't step out of Chanyeol's arms, just tilts his body to the side so that he can see Kyungsoo in all his grumpy glory. "Your bath is ready," He informs, arms crossed.

 

Jongdae pouts, but seems to give in regardless, if his shrug is anything to go by. Chanyeol receives a quick peck on the lips, then Jongdae is pulling away, smiling at him. "Will you wait for me?"

 

Chanyeol presses a kiss to the inside of Jongdae's wrist. "Always."

 

Jongdae's eyes light up, face colouring, and Chanyeol grins. It's good to know that he can affect Jongdae as much as Jongdae affects him. "Wait for me in my study?" Jongdae asks. "I have something to give you."

 

"Oh?" Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. "A present from the lord himself." He gives an overdramatic bow, with a twirl of the hands for added pretentiousness. "I would be honoured, my lord."

 

Jongdae rolls his eyes, but Chanyeol gets another kiss to his cheek before Jongdae leaves, anyways. He assumes he's got a _really_ stupid grin on his face from the way Kyungsoo is looking at him, but he's too happy to care. Jongdae is back, _and_ Chanyeol had gotten numerous kisses. Nothing could spoil this night for him, really, not even Byun Baekhyun.

 

Maybe Chanyeol should've retracted that statement, because he'd forgotten that Baekhyun had been tasked to set documents out for Jongdae in the study. The moment he pushes the door open, he's met with said man, who looks up when he hears the door open.

 

"So," Baekhyun says, leaning against the desk like he opens it. There's a strange expression on his face, and it reminds Chanyeol of that talk, back at the stables, when Baekhyun had come to talk to him about Jongdae.

 

 _Ah_ , he realises, _Baekhyun's probably here to threaten me about dating his best friend._

 

"You and Jongdae, huh?" Baekhyun asks.

 

Chanyeol nods hesitantly, unsure of what Baekhyun is trying to get out of him. They _were_ together, at least Chanyeol assumes they are. One didn't go around kissing others as greetings, or held them close when they had returned from a trip away, right? Right. Hopefully.

 

Baekhyun sighs, shaking his head. "Well, Jongdae's a grown man, so there's really nothing I can say that would change his mind." Chanyeol stiffens, here, because why would Baekhyun want to change Jongdae's mind? Did he think Chanyeol so unfit a partner for the lord that he would try to convince Jongdae not to be with Chanyeol? He pushes himself off the desk, walking up to Chanyeol.

 

For someone so tiny, Baekhyun really shouldn't look as terrifying as he currently does. His expression is dark, eyes sharp and almost _dangerous_. Chanyeol has to take a step back, startled by the change he sees. Baekhyun is usually so noisy, so loud and playful. Chanyeol has been annoyed by him, yes, and sometimes scared, but only ever in a teasing manner, because Baekhyun's tongue was too glib for his own good sometimes.

 

Chanyeol had never been _frightened_ like this.

 

"You remember our conversation back in the stables, don't you?" Baekhyun asks, rhetorically. "You would do well to keep your word."

 

Chanyeol swallows, nodding quickly. Baekhyun glares at him for a moment longer, then sighs again, dipping his head so his face is hidden by his hair. "I just worry about him," Baekhyun says, softly. "Don't hurt him, okay?"

 

"I won't," Chanyeol promises. "I'd sooner hurt myself."

 

Baekhyun laughs, humourless, shaking his head. "That's what you _say_ , but when it comes right down to it," Baekhyun pauses, shakes his head again, then whispers: "I really hope you won't, Chanyeol."

 

He walks out the room, then, and Chanyeol can only looking after him, confused. He wraps his arms around himself, wandering to the couch and sitting down on it. Why was Baekhyun so against them? Was it because of- Of the person in the painting? The one who had given Loey to Jongdae; the owner of Chen?

 

How much had Jongdae been hurt?

 

He's broken out of his thoughts when Jongdae comes breezing into the room, hair damp and in a simple black pants and white button-up combo. Chanyeol thinks he's never seen someone look so beautiful.

 

"Chanyeol!" Jongdae greets, smile so blindingly bright, and so _happy_ to see him. Chanyeol smiles at him, and Jongdae moves to his bag to grab something before quickly sitting down next to him on the couch. 

 

“I got you something,” Jongdae says, smiling at him softly. He pulls it out of his pocket, whatever it was that he had retrieved from his bag.

 

Chanyeol watches, excited and expectant, ane he huffs out an exhale when Jongdae opens his hand to show him what’s lying on his palm.

 

It’s a necklace. Thread on a string of leather, a pendant hanging from it; silver wire twisted artistically around a piece of absolutely beautiful clear, blue topaz. “I got it from a place, three towns over,” He says, shy. “They said it was for- for _courting_ , when I picked it out, and, I guess, that’s what we’re doing here?” Even if we use the term dating instead, I just thought.” He swallows. “You don’t have to wear it if you don’t like it, of course.”

 

“Jongdae,” Chanyeol says when he finally manages to find his voice. “Please put it on for me.”

 

Jongdae stares at him in surprise, as though Chanyeol could ever turn a gift from him down. “You. You want to wear it?”

 

Chanyeol looks at Jongdae like he’s grown a second head. “Of course I do,” He says. “You bought it for me, with _me_ in mind. Why wouldn’t I?”

 

Jongdae breaks into the biggest, brightest grin, leaving Chanyeol almost breathless with how beautiful he looks. He gestures for Chanyeol to come closer, which he does, then helps Chanyeol put it on, fastening it at the back when Chanyeol lowers his head to give him access. The pendant nestles in the hollow of his throat, its weight a reminder.

 

Something settles in Chanyeol’s gut, when the necklace is looped over his head. It’s like a piece of a puzzle clicking into place. He smiles dopily, touching it with one hand. “Thank you, Jongdae.”

 

“You never have to thank me for anything, Chanyeol,” Jongdae says, taking his hand and kissing it. “I’m glad you like it.”

 

“I love it,” Chanyeol admits, flushing a cute pink. He shifts, then, to sit closer to Jongdae.

 

"Oh," Jongdae tilts his head cutely. "You must be tired out from today, right? Here, come-"

 

He shifts to the end of the couch, tugging at Chanyeol until his head is pillowed on his thigh. Chanyeol wants to protest, say that he's not really that tired, but Jongdae's smile is a little smug, and Chanyeol wants to laugh at how this was basically all a ruse to get Chanyeol to lie with his head in his lap.

 

It's adorable, and Chanyeol falls further.

 

Jongdae's fingers play with his hair, and Chanyeol hums, pleased. "How did your meetings go? Smoothly?"

 

"About as smooth as they could've gone, really," Jongdae replies, smiling warmly down at him. "There were a couple of snags - but there's always a couple of bumps. We managed to gloss over them, at least. It's not solved, but hopefully it won't be too big of a problem."

 

"What kind of problems?" Chanyeol asks, intrigued.

 

Jongdae shrugs. "The usual; corrupt lords and the such. You'd be surprised how many of them are trying to rule their provinces with an iron fist. It's gotten so bad that we've had to step in a couple of times, or they would tax their provinces to starvation." Chanyeol wonders how Jongdae can say something like that so simply, and decides that he doesn't really want to know. "It's all we can do to hope it won't get so bad that we have to strip another lord of his position."

 

Chanyeol shudders. "That sounds horrible," He says. "How could people be so greedy?"

 

"There's a lot of horrible people out there, Chanyeol," Jongdae says, smiling ruefully. "Myself included."

 

"You?" Chanyeol asks. "You could _never_."

 

Jongdae looks sad, then, and Chanyeol wants to wipe that expression off of Jongdae's face. As it is, he raises a hand, gently caressing Jongdae's cheek with his thumb. "Your confidence in me is unfounded, Chanyeol," Jongdae says, eyes downcast, and so, _so_ sad. "I've done things that would lead to people labelling me a monster. You must remember that despite what I look like now," Jongdae shakes his head, eyes closing. "I am a vampire, and I was once a fledgling."

 

Chanyeol keeps silent; it seems like the right thing to do, currently. Jongdae looks like he wants to get something off of his chest, and Chanyeol will provide a listening ear.

 

"I've done horrible things, too. Killed people, drained them of their blood." Jongdae shudders, then opens his eyes, looks at Chanyeol. "I didn't mean to. It was the fledgling bloodlust, and I couldn't contain it. But I did kill those people, Chanyeol. My intent means nothing."

 

Chanyeol lets the information sink in. Jongdae has killed, before. It should make sense to him, but for some reason he still finds himself in disbelief, a little. Jongdae is a vampire, and while he might be able to control himself around humans now, it makes sense that he wasn't always able to do so, and that it had taken years and years, maybe even _decades_ of patience to get to where he is now.

 

But a monster? Chanyeol thinks about how Jongdae had referred to himself as such, and it sounds wrong, to him. Jongdae, who smiles so brightly he could eclipse the sun. Jongdae, who makes soap as a hobby. Jongdae, who thinks lords who tax their people to the point of starvation should be removed from their post. Jongdae, who looks so guilty above him as he recounts what he's done before. That Jongdae?

 

No.

 

"You're not a monster," Chanyeol finally manages to croak out, voice hoarse. "You said it yourself, you didn't mean to kill them. You couldn't control yourself, but you hadn't wanted to. There are people out there who kill for fun, or just because they can. You're nothing like those people, Jongdae."

 

Jongdae looks at him silently for a moment, then smiles, but it's hollow, sad. "You're too kind, Chanyeol," Jondae says. "Not everyone can say that."

 

"I guess it helps that I like you, then, huh?" Chanyeol bites back, trying for cheek. It makes Jongdae's smile widens minutely, at least, and Chanyeol takes that as a personal win. He shifts his hand, moves to take Jongdae's in his own, presses a kiss to the center of his palm, then each finger, and finally the back of his hand, across his knuckles. "You've done so much to make up for your past, Jongdae. Stop punishing yourself."

 

Jongdae laughs, softly. "You're amazing," Jongdae's gaze is soft and fond, and Chanyeol wants to melt under it. "You're really. You're really something else, Chanyeol."

 

"I just don't want you to feel bad," Chanyeol admits. "It doesn't feel right when you're not smiling."

 

"You make me smile," Jongdae says, and Chanyeol startles. That makes Jongdae laugh, at least, and Chanyeol flushes a deep pink, hiding his face behind his hands. "No," Jongdae laughs, prying them away from his face. "Don't hide yourself. I just got back from a trip, Chanyeol, I want see your handsome face."

 

Chanyeol makes a face at him, just to be annoying, and Jongdae laughs, poking at his cheeks until Chanyeol’s swatting at him, batting his hands away.

 

“Oh!” Jongdae exclaims all of a sudden. Chanyeol jumps, and Jongdae leans down to press a kiss to the tip of his nose in apology. “I forgot to ask you. Do you have a day where you don’t have a lot to do with the horses? I wanted to do a picnic with you, but given that we can’t exactly have it in the day time, and I can’t eat, do you think maybe we could find a night to go stargazing?”

 

Chanyeol stares up at Jongdae in shock, still trying to process his words. When he manages to do so, he grins, happily, nodding up at Jongdae. “I’ll have to check the stables,” Chanyeol admits. “And see how the horses are. But any night in the next couple of days should be fine, as long as I finish whatever is left tomorrow. I did a lot of it today, waiting for you to come back.”

 

Jongdae makes a happy noise in the back of his throat, and he smiles so gently down at Chanyeol that he feels like squirming with happiness. He settles for smiling back at Jongdae instead, linking their hands together and squeezing.

 

Somehow that sets the tone of the rest of the evening, with Chanyeol resting his head on Jongdae's lap. They talk to each other, voices soft and soothing. Jongdae's fingers remain in Chanyeol's hair, gently carding through the strands, until Chanyeol is lulled to sleep, eyes fluttering shut and a small, happy little smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> topaz is the november birthstone; blue topaz because i like it better than yellow.
> 
> thank you for reading! kudos & comments make a happy author!


	7. vii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was. really difficult to write, which is why it took so long. thank you to a for the beta, and i hope you'll all enjoy it regardless!

Chanyeol shows up at Jongdae's study on the night of their planned stargazing trip, wondering if he looks decent enough. He's not sure what the weather will be like, not used to going outside of the manor once he had finished his chores and the sun had set. He walks, nervous despite himself, down the hallway, and knocks on the door.

Jongdae opens the door almost immediately, eyes lighting up when he sees that it's Chanyeol standing on his doorstep. "Chanyeol!" He greets, beaming and taking his hand. "Come in, come in! I just have a couple more documents to sign and then we can go."

"Okay," Chanyeol replies, sitting on the sofa and watching as Jongdae flits back to behind the desk, sitting himself down and reading through the documents, a frown creasing his forehead. He takes a moment to look around the room that he's now so used to, a place he could almost call home, even though he has his own room in the manor.

It's not that his room is unsightly, or that he doesn't like it. It's just that it's almost void of personality. Anyone could walk into the room and claim them as their own; there's nothing that tells anyone that Chanyeol's the one who owns it. Here, however, Jongdae's study is warm. The fireplace is crackling at one end of the room, and the mahogany shelves tower over him, from ceiling to floor. Everything has such a warm, cozy tone to it.

Chanyeol would stay here forever, if he could.

He's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't feel the slight dip of the sofa as Jongdae sits himself primly next to him, and only startles when he feels Jongdae's head lean against his shoulder. "You were so deep in thought," Jongdae giggles. "What were you thinking about?"

"You," Chanyeol teases, watches as Jongdae's face pinkens lightly, before the vampire lord is pinching his side.

"Don't be a sap," Jongdae scolds, but there's a pleased tone to his voice that Chanyeol grins at.  "Was that what you were really thinking about?"

Chanyeol shrugs. "Partly. I was thinking about how this room feels like home."

Jongdae's eyes soften at that, and he takes Chanyeol's hand, squeezing it. "I'm glad you feel that way, Chanyeol," He says, and Chanyeol only gets a second's warning before Jongdae is leaning forward to kiss him.

Kissing Jongdae is always amazing, their lips pressed together softly before one of them deepens it. Chanyeol takes the initiative this time, opening his mouth and tilting his head, wrapping his arms around Jongdae's waist to pull him over and onto his lap. Jongdae mewls, pressing closer, and Chanyeol lets him squirm on his lap, arms now loosely slung around his waist.

"You really," Jongdae pants when they break apart. "Need to stop doing that when we're about to leave for somewhere."

Chanyeol noses at Jongdae's cheek, trailing kisses across his jaw and down his neck. "Why?" He asks, despite knowing the answer.

" _ Chanyeol _ ," Jongdae curses. "Stop, I had- We need to go."

"Need is such a strong word," Chanyeol murmurs, pressing one last kiss to Jongdae's collarbone. "But you do make an  _ excellent _ point. I believe you owe me a stargazing date?"

Jongdae takes a couple of seconds to get a hold of himself, but when he dones, he glares daggers at Chanyeol, who only returns it with his own beam. "I  _ hate _ you."

"No, you don't," Chanyeol laughs, following Jongdae when he gets to his feet. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you like me."

Jongdae's glare only intensifies, and Chanyeol laughs harder. Jongdae huffs, then starts leading the way out of the study and down the hallway. "You're lucky you're cute," Jongdae grumbles under his breath, and that just makes Chanyeol's grin widen.

They make their way to the stables, where Loey perks up immediately upon sensing Jongdae's presence. Jongdae glides forward, scratching the stallion's head and producing a cube of sugar from his pocket to offer to him. "Hello," He greets softly, voice tender. It makes a sour lump rise up in Chanyeol's throat. "Are you okay if we take you out for a ride with Chen today?"

The stallion snorts, stomping his foot, and Jongdae laughs. Chen trots over from where he had been watching, dark eyes trained on Chanyeol, and nudges Loey with his snout. Loey just  _ harrumphs _ , but then silences, and Jongdae laughs. "Come on," He says, turning to Chanyeol and holds out a hand. "I think they're okay to take us."

Chanyeol nods, and watches with that same lump in his throat when Jongdae mounts Loey with practiced ease. The horse shakes his mane out as Chanyeol watches, then is nudged in the side by Chen, who continues to stare at him with those dark eyes of his. "Hey, buddy," Chanyeol greets. "I'm sorry I don't have a sugar cube for you."

Jongdae giggles again, then takes one out of his pocket and hands it over to Chanyeol, who takes it with a grateful smile. Chanyeol hands it to Chen; the horse continues to stare at him for a long, almost unnerving amount of time before taking the sugar cube and crunching down on it. He grabs a hold of the saddle, then in one smooth motion, swings himself atop of Chen.

Jongdae whistles, impressed. "I didn't think you'd be able to do it, stable boy."

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. "This is literally what you hired me to do."

"I hired you to take care of my horses, not ride them," Jongdae grins, sounding far too pleased with himself.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes, not dignifying them with an answer, to which Jongdae pouts at. He sighs, weak in the face of that expression, as always, and nudges Chen forward. He leans over, pecking Jongdae on the cheek. "Come on, my lord," He says, tilting his head. "Lead the way."

Jongdae gives him a small smile before he's nudging Loey gently in the side, who takes off immediately on command. Chanyeol scratches behind Chen's ears before doing the same.

The feeling of riding the horse will never get old, for Chanyeol. It's always this exhilarating, the feeling of wind blowing through his hair, the speed at which the horse can take him. Its muscles are strong beneath his calves, and Chanyeol marvels at how he can always feel like it's his first time horse-riding no matter how many trips he goes on.

Jongdae, it turns out, is an excellent equestrian. Chanyeol isn't really sure what he had expected, really, all things considered. Jongdae and Loey are almost like one combined unit, able to navigate through the smallest of crevices and the largest of obstacles with practiced ease. Chanyeol hadn't expected for the trail to be one as difficult as it is, and it takes all of his concentration to make sure he can guide Chen through the same without any major injury.

Surprisingly, he does all of it unscathed. Chanyeol finds that he doesn't have to nudge Chen too hard to get the stallion to understand what he wants, and there's camaraderie with the horse. He had known this, of course, from when Chen always seemed to seek out his company whenever he worked in the stables, but it was an entirely different story when it was out here, with the scenery rushing past them as they tore through the forest together.

They finally break out of the forest into a wide patch of land, gently slopes of hills in every direction that Chanyeol can see. When he looks up, the stars are  _ everywhere _ , dotting the sky and making one, beautiful bright blanket over them. "Wow," He breathes, sliding off of Chen with a grateful pat to his flank. "I've never  _ seen _ so many stars like this."

"It's something else, isn't it?" Jongdae asks, coming to stand closer to him. They leave the horses to their own devices, Chen immediately trotting over to Loey to graze.

Jongdae takes his hand, bright eyes turning to look at him. "Come," He says. "There's a spot up on the hill over there that I like a lot. The grass is much softer there; makes it more comfortable."

He follows Jongdae to the top of the hill, the climb a gentle one, so they barely have to put much effort into it. Jongdae settles himself down on a patch of soft grass, and Chanyeol follows him, sitting himself down and laying back when Jongdae does so. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Chanyeol says, putting one hand under his head to use as a makeshift pillow. "I've seen the stars, but never like this."

"It's always like this up here," Jongdae tells him. "When the skies are clear. Sometimes I come up here when I'm stressed to just look at the stars, you know? They don't judge you, and they're always there, watching over you."

Chanyeol feels Jongdae shuffle a little closer, and he grins to himself. He shifts, wrapping one arm gingerly around Jongdae's shoulders and relaxing when he lays his head on his arm. "Do you know the constellations?" Jongdae asks.

"I've heard of the famous ones," Chanyeol replies. "Orion, Cassiopeia, Andromeda, and the likes. I've never actually gone looking for them, though. I don't even know which stars in the sky make them up."

Jongdae giggles, reaching up with his finger to point above them. "Orion's belt is this cluster of stars right here. It's the easiest way to locate Orion himself."

Chanyeol looks up where Jongdae is tracing a path of stars in the sky. He cannot for the life of him see what Jongdae is trying to show him, but he hums to show that he's listening. Jongdae shows him a couple more constellations, enthusiastically telling him about them. Chanyeol smiles, even though he still can't see any of them, traces lines in the sky and connecting random stars.

Even though he's not exactly sure if he's managing to identify the different stars in a constellation correctly, there's still a charm to being out here in the dark, alone, with Jongdae. The night is quiet, the sky clear, and Chanyeol feels like he can let everything go and concentrate only on the here and now.

"Which one's your favourite?" Chanyeol asks. "Is it any of the ones that you've shown me already?"

Jongdae shakes his head, then, appearing almost shy. "I've shown you the larger, more well known ones so far, but my favourite is that one," He points to a portion of the sky further away from the other constellations he'd shown Chanyeol, towards the south. "It's the phoenix constellation. There's 13 stars in it," He traces the outline of the constellation as he describes it, and it's the first out of the all the constellations that Chanyeol can actually pinpoint.

"Why is this your favourite?"

Jongdae remains silent for a while, and Chanyeol wonders if he's overstepped his boundaries, asking something he shouldn't, but Jongdae sighs after a while and turns to look at him. Like this, head pillowed on his arm, he's so, so close. "I guess it's because it's unassuming, you know? It's just a minor constellation, and not many people know about it. The phoenix also signifies rebirth, being born again from its ashes when it dies. I guess I'm just sentimental, and like the thought of it."

Chanyeol smiles, leaning forward to press a kiss to Jongdae's lips. “I think it’s cute,” He murmurs, smiling softly at Jongdae. Jongdae beams up at him in return, and Chanyeol runs his hands through Jongdae's hair. "I like how passionate you are about this, it's really refreshing to listen to."

Jongdae laughs softly, curling himself closer to Chanyeol. "Thank you," He says, voice tender, expression soft. "Thank you for coming out with me tonight, Chanyeol. It really means a lot to me."

"I could never pass up spending more time with you," Chanyeol replies honestly. "Thank you for inviting me; for letting me into your private time."

There's a happy little twinkle in Jongdae's eye when he smiles at Chanyeol, and Chanyeol thinks that it's brighter than any star in the sky, even the North Star.

* * *

 

 

Their relationship blossoms from there, and Chanyeol honestly could not be any happier. He gets to start and end every single day with Jongdae; waking up to find him in the kitchen waiting for him with a cup of coffee is a blessing, and the good night kisses Jongdae enjoys giving him just before bed are entirely too addictive.

He can barely help himself, now that he's been given explicit permission to be able to hold Jongdae wherever and whenever he wants. Chanyeol has always been a touchy, affectionate person by nature, and he had been just an employee, then a friend, to Jongdae for so long. Now that he's able to swing his arm around Jongdae's waist and bring him in to kiss as he pleased, he does it all the time.

"Chanyeol," Jongdae laughs, after Chanyeol catches him around the waist to press him against the wall, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss. He's not pulling away, though, looking content to stay in Chanyeol's embrace. "You're not tired of this?"

"Tired?" Chanyeol asks, tilting his head. "How could I ever tire of kissing you?"

Jongdae wrinkles his nose, and it's so cute that Chanyeol can't help but lean down and peck it. It makes Jongdae laugh again, the little crescents his eyes become, framed by crinkles sending Chanyeol reeling. He's absolutely gorgeous, and Chanyeol can hardly believe that he's his.

"You're a giant sap," Jongdae mock-scolds, shaking his head. "You're so cheesy, Chanyeol, it's a good thing I'm not allergic to dairy."

"It's true, though." Chanyeol pouts at him, petulant. "I really like kissing you. Are you saying you don't like kissing me, then?"

That makes J ongdae roll his eyes, before he's leaning up on the tips of his toes, palms gentle on Chanyeol's chest for support. "You know I do," He grumbles, and Chanyeol grins his victory. "You just like hearing me say it."

 

"You know me so well," Chanyeol chuckles, leaning down for one last kiss, deep and hungry, one that has Jongdae desperately clutching onto Chanyeol's shoulders in an attempt to ground himself. Chanyeol groans, tongue flicking against Jongdae's, and Jongdae responses with a high whine in the back of his throat that has Chanyeol crowding him harder into the wall.

 

When they pull apart, Chanyeol's breathing is heavy, and Jongdae's eyes are glazed over. "Sorry," Chanyeol manages to get out, voice hoarse. He feels Jongdae shudder in his arms, and grins to himself.

 

"Sorry?" Jongdae repeats, incredulous. "You push me against the wall, kiss me so hard I almost pass out, and then tell me you're  _ sorry _ ?"

 

"Mm," Chanyeol hums, stealing another kiss from Jongdae's now kiss-swollen lips. "I have work to do, you see, and  _ you _ ," Chanyeol taps him on the nose. Jongdae goes cross eyed looking at it, and Chanyeol's heart clenches. "Should really be going to bed."

 

Jongdae gapes at him like a fish out of water, like he can't believe Chanyeol is really telling him to go to bed. Chanyeol just grins at him with all the mischief he can muster, and soon Jongdae is grumbling under his breath, then whining when Chanyeol refuses to follow him back to his room so he can stay with him until he falls asleep.

 

There's a part of Chanyeol that would willingly follow wherever Jongdae went; if Jongdae told him to jump, Chanyeol would ask only  _ how high? _ and leap off without a second thought. The even bigger, more sensible - thankfully - part of him is nervous. He doesn't know where he stands with Jongdae, exactly, and following him back to his room isn't something he's necessarily ready for at the moment.

 

Besides, he has work to do, and he  _ knows _ that Kyungsoo would have his head if he found out said work isn’t being done because he’s too busy cuddling Jongdae, and that’s just no way to go.

 

He kisses Jongdae one last time - really, this time - before he lets him go, and Jongdae disappears down the hallway grumbling under his breath, and Chanyeol laughs.

 

It happens slowly, gradually; one day, weeks after their stargazing trip, Chanyeol tells himself that it's not wrong that he wishes to spend time with Jongdae, curled up together in his bed. It's not like they haven't been spending their free time cuddling on the sofa in Jongdae's study, so that was a moot point.

 

Chanyeol was mostly nervous because Jongdae's bedroom was an entirely different place altogether. It was the most private room of the house, held most of Jongdae's personal possessions, and was a place where the lord could just be himself, with no mask, no shields.

 

Spending time in Jongdae's room with him is one thing, and sleeping in Jongdae's bed is another. Despite this, one day Chanyeol finds himself too tired to fight how heavy his eyelids are, and how comfortable it is just lying with Jongdae, whose head resting on his chest a comfortable, soothing weight. The next thing he knows, he's waking up, still on Jongdae's bed, while the lord smiles down at him from where he's leaning against the headboard, feet tucked under the covers and perusing through a document in his hand.

 

He never leaves, then. It's unspoken, their agreement, and Chanyeol finds that he only ever returns to his own room for a change of clothes. He then heads to the showers, gets himself clean, and pads his way to Jongdae's room, where he knocks on the door and is allowed entrance.

 

Jongdae's room, along with his study, becomes a haven for Chanyeol. When he's feeling particularly tired out from a hard day at work, he can go looking for Jongdae and receive a hug or kiss - or preferably both. Jongdae is always more than willing to provide comfort, and they can spend hours just languidly kissing either in bed or on the couch. It's absolutely blissful.

 

Other times, Chanyeol finds that he's the one helping Jongdae through hard times. Jongdae still has to travel, once in a while, and Chanyeol will hold him close, listen to him vent about what other lords are doing to their provinces and his feelings of helplessness when he can do nothing for them. Attempts at meddling in another lord's affairs have caused tempers to run high, and the meetings are never pleasant to attend - not that they were before, but they're even more so, now.

 

The first time Jongdae leaves for such a trip, Baekhyun corners him in the stables to interrogate him thoroughly about their relationship. Chanyeol's definitely not a prude, but some of the questions that Baekhyun ask have even him flushing to the very roots of his hair, ears pinking, until Kyungsoo appears from within the house to drag Baekhyun away with a hand fisted in his shirt, to much squawked protests.

 

Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun's just being a good friend. It doesn't make him feel any better when Baekhyun corners him in a different corner of the manor - when he knows that Kyungsoo is busy in another part of the manor and can't drag him away - to question him further about his relationship with Jongdae.

 

The questions range from sweet - "Are you sure you're serious about being with Jongdae?" - to bewildering - "In a hypothetical world, where you and Jongdae are members of the same boy band, would you choose Jongdae over your very successful career?" - to downright concerning - "If Jongdae were to become a potato would you still love him?".

 

So, yes. Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun's just trying his best to be a good friend for Jongdae, basically vetting Chanyeol with all his attempts, confusing as they might be. He tells Jongdae so, relating the strange encounters with Baekhyun throughout the manor. It has Jongdae rolling off the bed with laughter, tears springing up in his eyes as he clutches onto his stomach, presumably hurting from laughing too hard.

 

Chanyeol had stared at Jongdae like he'd gone mad, then began to laugh with him, Jongdae's mirth contagious, until the two of them were unable to stop giggling; when one would stop, the other's chortling would set them off all over again.

 

Baekhyun hadn’t come at him with any other questions after that, and Chanyeol assumed that Jongdae had spoken to Baekhyun about it. He did still turn to Chanyeol with a glint in his eyes sometimes, but apart from that, never really acted on it.

 

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was more subtle about his concerns. Like Baekhyun, he chose only to act once Jongdae was out of the manor on a trip, coming up behind him silently, as he is wont to do. Chanyeol had been scared out of his wits, jumping so high even Chen had gotten startled.

 

Kyungsoo's voiced concerns on his relationship with Jongdae were not as difficult to understand as Baekhyun's, but no less terrifying - were, perhaps, even more so. Chanyeol had answered his questions with a straight back, eyes wide and more than a little scared of the consequences if he were to somehow earn Kyungsoo's ire.

 

After he had finished questioning Chanyeol, he had turned around and went down the path he came, not giving Chanyeol any indication as to whether he approved or disapproved. Chanyeol had stood, rooted to the spot, blinking at the closed door Kyungsoo had entered the manor through, for a good three minutes before he had managed to shuffle awkwardly back to work.

 

Chanyeol, wisely, decides not to tell Jongdae about the incident with Kyungsoo. He knows he's made a good decision when Kyungsoo sends him a self-satisfied smirk the day after Jongdae returns and there is - presumably - no talking to given by the lord of the manor.

 

Chanyeol finds himself fidgeting at the sitting area every time Jongdae is scheduled to come back, unable to sit still. Sometimes Sehun sits with him, because Kyungsoo can't stand his restlessness and Baekhyun only feeds off of his restlessness and turns the entire sitting room into a war zone. Sehun is a good conversationalist, better than Chanyeol would have pegged him to be, with such a stoic facial expression.

 

They have a lot more in common than Chanyeol expected, and he quickly finds himself taking Sehun under his wing, like a little brother. Sehun comes to him for advice on one thing or another, and when he comes to Chanyeol, flushing red and stammering, about how Chanyeol had confessed to Jongdae, Chanyeol had cooed.

 

Sehun's crush on Kyungsoo wasn't as one-sided as the gardener thought it was, but Chanyeol wasn't about to tell him that. For one, relationships were best dealt with by the parties alone, and for another, Chanyeol wasn't above just having fun watching Sehun squirm.

 

Whenever they hear the thundering of hooves that signals Jongdae's return, however, Sehun will halt their conversation, rise smoothly, and disappear out the door. Chanyeol had been confused by it the first time, but when Jongdae had slammed the front doors open and run into Chanyeol's arms to kiss him, he figured that maybe Sehun had had the right idea.

 

Nowadays, it's easy, almost muscle memory, to open his arms whenever he hears Jongdae's footsteps rushing up the stairs that led to the front door. Jongdae's face, usually haggard, will light up with the brightest grin before Chanyeol has armfuls of lover and a very enthusiastic kiss being pressed to his lips.

 

The best day of Chanyeol's life - thus far, because he's sure that he'll make even more, happier, memories with Jongdae - is when Jongdae comes out of a shower one day and beams at him, taking his hand and leading him to bed. "Chanyeol," Jongdae asks, looking almost shy. "Will you have a lot of work to complete next weekend?"

 

Chanyeol tilts his head, curious. "I can have it all done so that there's not much to do but feed and groom the horses everyday, and let them out to stretch their legs every other day or so. Why? Is something happening?"

 

Jongdae smiles at him, and Chanyeol thinks he would agree to whatever Jongdae was going to propose as long as he kept looking at him with that expression on his face. "I was thinking we could go on a trip together," Jongdae suggests. "It'll be overcast the next weekend, or so it's been predicted. I have a beach house that I use for vacations, and I wanted to go with you, if you'd like to come along."

 

"You're-" Chanyeol stutters, eyes wide. "You want to go on vacation? With  _ me _ ?"

 

Jongdae blinks at him like he's grown a second head. "Of course I do! Why wouldn't I?"

 

"Well, I mean, I guess it never occurred to me that you would want to- with me, and," Chanyeol shrugs, rather lamely, unable to come up with a reason Jongdae wouldn't want to go on vacation with him. It makes him want to stand up and yell in exhilaration.

 

Jongdae laughs at him, then, but it isn't mean, more gentle amusement. His hair is still damp from the shower, and he's smiling so,  _ so _ beautifully at him. "You're my lover, Chanyeol," Jongdae says, one hand coming up to cup his face. Chanyeol flushes under his attention, even though he should be used to it by now. "Of course I want to go on vacation with you."

 

"Okay," Chanyeol manages to squeak out, and Jongdae laughs again, eyes crinkling into happy little crescents. "I'd love to come with you."

 

Jongdae makes a happy noise in the back of his throat, tugging Chanyeol down onto the bed. Chanyeol chuckles as he goes along, unable to contain how happy he is, joy threatening to burst out of his chest. He falls asleep curled up next to Jongdae, the two of them murmuring under their breaths about all that they're going to do when they get to the beach house, like excited children sharing a secret.

 

The next day, after a morning kiss, breakfast, and sending Jongdae back to his room to sleep with another round of kisses, Chanyeol stands on the stair landing, looking up at the portrait that still hangs, till this day, in the middle of the manor. The claw marks are still as strikingly visible as they've always been, but this time, Chanyeol doesn't feel threatened by how happy Jongdae looks in the painting, because he's seen Jongdae just as happy, has  _ made _ Jongdae look just as happy.

 

Whoever the person in the portrait is, they're not here any longer; Chanyeol is. He grins triumphantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments make a happy author!


	8. viii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you were disappointed with how slow my updates were during the summer, oh boy, you're going to be even more upset now that school as started.
> 
> regardless, i hope you enjoy.

The ride to the manor is uneventful. It takes roughly 8 hours by horse carriage, and Chanyeol spends most of his time napping in the carriage, drowsy from the repetitive swaying motion and the warmth of the sun. Jongdae is wrapped up beside him, always kept away from where the sun is shining, and the lord’s head on his shoulder is a welcome, comfortable weight.

 

When they get there, Chanyeol's jaw unhinges. The beach house is beautiful, all white painted wood panels and a cute little blue roof. Chanyeol can barely stop looking at it, but then Jongdae points in the distance and Chanyeol chances a glance at the direction Jongdae is pointing in, and Chanyeol can't help but stare at the sea.

 

The ocean, visible from the front door, is clear, and, when Chanyeol steps into it, wonderfully cool. The sky is overcast, which would have spoiled Chanyeol's mood usually, since h's at the beach, but he's with _Jongdae_ , and the cloudy skies just gives Jongdae the ability to be on the beach with him, splashing in the water.

 

"I love this place already," Chanyeol says, arms wrapped around Jongdae's waist, leaning down to kiss him softly. "It's absolutely beautiful."

 

"Just like you," Jongdae teases, and Chanyeol makes a face of mock outrage at him. Jongdae laughs, getting up on the tips of his toes to return the kiss. "I'm glad you like it here. We have 5 days here before I need to travel for another meeting, but until then," Jongdae smiles, cheekily. "I'm all yours."

 

Chanyeol grins widely, one hand coming up to cup the back of Jongdae's head. "Sounds _perfect."_

 

"Come," Jongdae tugs him by the hand, walking back to the beach house. Chanyeol follows along behind him, like a puppy trailing after its master. Jongdae laughs at the expression Chanyeol is making; he can't see it himself, but he thinks that he doesn't mind looking silly if it gets Jongdae to laugh like that.

 

The inside of the beach house is just as beautiful as the view outside. Chanyeol gapes as Jongdae brings him around, smile bright on his face. There's a lot of it that reminds him of _Jongdae_ , like the fireplace burning lowly in the living room, the scores of bookshelves lining the walls. It's homey, and it has the same atmosphere as Jongdae's study back in the manor.

 

The kitchen is fully stocked, too, which Chanyeol finds ironic considering Jongdae doesn't eat. He points this out to the lord, who makes a face and hits him. "I specifically had people fill the fridge up with food so that you wouldn't starve to death while we were here, you ungrateful brat."

 

Chanyeol grins at him, unrepentant, but he leans down to wrap his arms around Jongdae's waist and kiss him in gratitude. "Thank you, Jongdae," He simpers. "Your concern for my well being and survival is touching."

 

Jongdae snorts and rolls his eyes, but he looks pleased, if the small smile curling the edges of his pretty, kitten lips is any indication. Chanyeol continues to explore the cottage, walking up the stairs to find the _massive_ bedroom, with huge panel windows with a view of the ocean, and an absolutely enormous bathtub.

 

Jongdae runs past him, diving onto the bed like a child. Chanyeol chuckles, but then Jongdae is narrowing his eyes at him, and before he knows it, he's being tackled onto the bed by one very enthusiastic vampire lord. Chanyeol shrieks as he goes down, pinned with his arms by his sides and a very smug Jongdae sitting atop him.

 

"That'll teach you to laugh at me," Jongdae quips, eyes alight with mischief.

 

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow, wriggling until his arms are free so that he can run them up Jongdae's tiny waist. "Well," He says. "If having you on top of me like this is the consequence of laughing that you, you're not doing a very good job of convincing me to do otherwise."

 

"Ooh," Jongdae chirps. "Is _that_ how it goes, Lord Park? How _scandalous_ of you, to lure me into your bed like this."

 

"You're the one that tackled me onto the bed with your inhuman speed, you know," Chanyeol grumbles. He can't deny that he's having a pretty great time, however. Jongdae, despite feeling almost like marble under Chanyeol's hands, is pretty light atop him. His weight is comfortable, and it's not like Chanyeol ever said that it was an inconvenience.

 

Jongdae sighs happily, leaning down so that his chest touches Chanyeol's. He stretches his legs out so that he's just lying on Chanyeol entirely. He then stretches his legs out so that he's just lying on Chanyeol entirely. Chanyeol reaches up to play with Jongdae's hair, brushing it away from his face. "Comfortable?" He asks, smiling softly at him.

 

"Very much so," Jongdae replies, voice a little muffled from where his face is pressed against Chanyeol's neck. "You make such a good bed, Chanyeol."

 

"Glad I can be of service," Chanyeol laughs. "I should be flattered, really, that you're choosing to lie on me instead of this wonderful bed you have here. What thread count are these sheets, like 800?"

 

"1000 Egyptian cotton," Jongdae shoots back, snarky, but he's smiling in the way that makes his eyes go all crinkly, the corners of his lips lifting up in the cutest manner. He rolls off of Chanyeol, then, squirming his way up so that he can lie his head on the pillow and tug at Chanyeol with the slightest hint of a whine in his voice. "I don't know about you," He says, mouth opening in an adorable little yawn. "But I'm really tired from the trip here."

 

It's not until Jongdae mentions it that Chanyeol feels the fatigue of travelling hours in a tiny, horse drawn carriage. He stretches, twisting his body. "Let's take a shower, then go to bed?"

 

"Screw the shower," Jongdae mumbles. "Let's just sleep."

 

Chanyeol laughs, shaking his head and tugging at Jongdae. "No, we have to wash up. Come on, sleepyhead." Jongdae grunts, seemingly disinclined to move. Chanyeol reaches out to poke at his nose with a finger. "Come on, I'll wash your hair for you."

 

That gets Jongdae to brighten up, and he hops out of bed to cling to Chanyeol's arm. Chanyeol can only grin and shake his head, leading them into the bathroom. He knows that Jongdae would probably prefer a bath, but he'd probably fall asleep in the tub, and Chanyeol doesn't want to have to coax a sleeping Jongdae to get out of warm water and put some clothes on.

 

He makes quick work of washing Jongdae's hair, then shoves the bar of soap he had made with Jongdae two nights ago into the lord's hands so that he'll lather himself up. Jongdae frowns at the bar of soap in his hands, blinking blearily, before he huffs, and Chanyeol suddenly finds that both of them are lathered up.

 

"Did you-" Chanyeol gapes, looking down at himself, disoriented. "Did you just use your- I don't know, your vampire speed or whatever?"

 

"I'm tired," Jongdae says by way of explanation. "The faster we can get out of here the faster I can be in that bed and cuddled into the man I love."

 

Chanyeol flushes, then from head to the very tips of his toes. The words 'the man I love' echo in his head, again and again. "The-" He chokes. "What?"

 

Jongdae seems to realise what he'd said a little too late, turning a little pink himself. He fidgets, still under the spray of water. "I meant what I said," Jongdae says, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He looks so small, so insecure, that something in Chanyeol aches.

 

"I love you, too!" Chanyeol blurts out, eyes wide.

 

Jongdae looks up at him, his own eyes equally wide, then breaks out into the most disarmingly beautiful smile that Chanyeol has ever seen him wear. Considering the number of times Chanyeol's managed to make Jongdae smile, he doesn't know how he's never seen this one, but he's so _glad_ that he can, now. Jongdae is gorgeous, and Chanyeol is the luckiest man in the world.

 

Jongdae leaps up on the tips of his toes to wrap his arms around Chanyeol's shoulders. Chanyeol's arms snake around Jongdae's waist, and Jongdae takes that as his cue to hop up and wrap his legs around Chanyeol's hips, leaving all his weight for Chanyeol to support. Chanyeol falters at the sudden shift in his center of gravity, but recovers quickly.

 

"Let's go back to bed," Jongdae whispers softly. There's water caught on his eyelashes, stars in the depths of his eyes, and Chanyeol has never seen someone so ethereal. "Lover mine."

 

Chanyeol's heart shoots up into his throat, and he quickly shuts off the water with one hand and stumbles back into the bedroom. They tumble onto the bed, uncaring of the water dripping off their bodies and dampening the sheets. Jongdae's gaze is so fond, his touch so gentle, and his smile so bright.

 

"Chanyeol," Jongdae's hand cups his cheek as they burrow under the blankets, wrapped up in each other's embrace. "Lover mine. I love you so, so much."

 

"Jongdae," Chanyeol echoes, voice hoarse. "I love you."

 

Jongdae's still smiling, even as his eyes droop close. Chanyeol presses a kiss to his forehead, that smile burned into his mind, following him even into his dreams of laughter, happiness, and love.

 

* * *

 

 

The second day of their trip is as wonderful as the third. Chanyeol learns that Jongdae cannot swim, but it's okay because, well, neither can he. They have regardless, in the shallow waters. Chanyeol uses a snorkel while Jongdae just stops breathing since he doesn't have to.

 

The food, Chanyeol thinks, is his favourite part. Not that the food back at the manor had been bad, but now that he has all these amazing ingredients at his disposal, not using them would be a waste, and almost a disrespect to how good the ingredients are. He has a ball of a time just cooking meals for himself while Jongdae watches on, clinging to his back.

 

Even if Jongdae can't eat, he still seems interested in watching whenever Chanyeol cooks. He's adorable with the way he clutches onto Chanyeol's back and peers over his shoulder. "I used to love steak," Jongdae bemoans. "If I concentrate, I can still remember how good it tastes, meat warm and succulent."

 

Chanyeol laughs, reaching over to pinch Jongdae's nose. "Garlic butter, the aroma of herbs used to baste the cut of beef."

 

"Chanyeol!" Jongdae pouts, hitting him on the chest. "Ugh, just thinking about it is making me salivate. Do you think anything will happen if I try a little of yours?"

 

"You've never tried?" Chanyeol asks, dicing the garlic into small chunks for frying off in oil.

 

Jongdae shakes his head. "Not since I was turned, no. I guess it just never crossed my mind. So I don't know if I can eat it or not."

 

Chanyeol shrugs. "You could try a small bite, later. If you find that you can eat then I'll cook up another portion for you."

 

"Really?" Jongdae asks, eyes lighting up. He's so adorable like this, like a child excited for a treat.

 

Nodding, Chanyeol presses a quick kiss to his cheek. "Of course. You paid for all this food for me, you should at least have some if you can."

 

"I bought it for _you_ , silly," Jongdae smiles, returning a kiss to Chanyeol's own cheek. Chanyeol flushes, but keeps his eyes firmly on the steak that he's just placed into the pan. "But thank you, love. We'll see how it goes."

 

Chanyeol continues cooking, then. Jongdae grabs a chair from the dining table to perch himself on, watching Chanyeol with all the curiosity of an eager child seeing their parent cook for the first time. He admits that even when he was human, he relied way too much on take out and instant meals, not having learned to cook himself.

 

"You move so confidently, Chanyeol," Jongdae says, pillowing his head on the arm resting on the counter. "It's really hot."

 

"Yes, probably because there's a fire going," Chanyeol deadpans, then crows with laughter, tongs in hand, when Jongdae jumps to his feet and starts chasing him around the kitchen.

 

Jongdae lunges forward, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's waist, smiling like a smug little kitten. "Got you," He hums, nuzzling into Chanyeol's neck from behind. "Now you can't escape."

 

Chanyeol spins around in his arms, tongs forgotten on the counter. Jongdae leans up on the tips of his toes to kiss him, and Chanyeol brings his head down to make it more comfortable for Jongdae. "My gorgeous Chanyeol," Jongdae murmurs against his lips. "So beautiful."

 

It has Chanyeol's heart skipping beats in his chest; it's probably not healthy, but the joy that spreads from his chest down to the very tips of his toes is more than worth it.

 

He deepens the kiss, arms tugging Jongdae ever closer to him. Chanyeol hums happily, and Jongdae makes a satisfied little noise in the back of his throat. Jongdae tastes so good, and Chanyeol would kiss him forever, if he could.

 

They pull back, forehead to forehead, grinning stupidly at each other. "I love you," Chanyeol says, and he wants to yell it from the rooftops, so that everybody knows that it's _him_ making Kim Jongdae beam like the midday sun whenever he says that. That _he_ has the power to make Jongdae so happy that he looks this bright.

 

"I love you too," Jongdae says back, eyes crinkling as his smile widens impossibly more. Chanyeol swallows, then leans forehead to kiss him again; once, twice, three times. He can barely get enough of it, of the way Jongdae always leans in to kiss him, eager and responsive. It makes something warm bloom within Chanyeol, knowing that Jongdae wants him, _loves_ him, just as much as he does Jongdae.

 

The acrid smell of something burning breaks them out of their little bubble, and Chanyeol spins around on the spot, eyes wide, to see the steak burning in the pan. He quickly rushes over and removes it from the stove, turning the hob off. He stares a little forlornly at the ruined meal, but then Jongdae comes over to take a look at the black, burnt piece of meat and immediately bursts into laughter.

 

It's contagious, so much so that Chanyeol can't help but laugh along with him. It's not like Jongdae doesn't have a huge supply in the fridge, all prepared for him; he can always cook another portion. They both laugh, clutching onto their sides, Chanyeol falling to the ground and hitting it with his fists. Jongdae's giggles turn into full blown laughter at Chanyeol's reaction, and pretty soon they're both sitting on the ground, leaning against the counter as their laughter begins to taper off.

 

Chanyeol reaches over to take Jongdae's hand in his own, and Jongdae lets him, lacing their fingers together. "Thank you for inviting me here, Jongdae," He says, voice solemn and expression serious. He's had so much fun with Jongdae, and it's only the second of their five day vacation. He still has three whole days to spend here, and he can't wait for all the memories that they'll make together. "I've enjoyed myself immensely. I'm so happy that you brought me here."

 

"Of course I would," Jongdae replies, smiling softly at him. "I love you, Chanyeol. I want to spend every waking moment with you if I could." He lifts their joined hands to his lips, kissing Chanyeol's knuckles gently. "Thank you for agreeing to come with me."

 

They share another kiss, this one gentler, chaste, petal soft against petal soft. When they pull apart, Chanyeol takes some time to just look at Jongdae, stew in how lucky he is, then stand up, tugging Jongdae up with him. "Come," He says. "Let me finish cooking my meal, and then we can take a shower and cuddle, after."

 

"Okay!" Jongdae chirrups brightly. "But only _after_ my own portion of steak, if we find out that I can ingest it."

 

Chanyeol laughs. "Of course, my love," He declares, bowing grandly and with an extravagant fluorish of his hand. "Anything you want."

 

Jongdae giggles, and spends the rest of the time clinging onto his arm and generally being a little nuisance. Chanyeol can't chase him away, though, too fond of the way he pouts. "Grab a bottle of wine from the refrigerator from me, won't you?" He requests, and Jongdae lets go to do so, but grumbles the entire way and till he's done pouring Chanyeol a _generous_ glass of it.

 

They find out that Jongdae can, indeed, ingest human food with no terrible side effects. Jongdae ends up requesting an entire full course meal of foods that he's missed, from salad with balsamic vinaigrette to a herb-crusted t-bone steak and a chocolate lava cake for dessert. Chanyeol, having finished his own meal, laughs and indulges to his lover's every whim, preparing one dish after another - with Jongdae trying his best to help, and really, no one should look that cute while trying their best to slice lettuce.

 

"Thank you for the meal, Chanyeol," Jongdae says, voice soft, later, when they're both tucked into bed and cuddled close to each other after a quick shower. One of Jongdae's tiny little legs are wedged between his own thighs, and it's the most comfortable Chanyeol's been in months. "I sort of sprung it up on you; I swear I'm usually not this much of a spoilt brat."

 

Chanyeol chuckles, shaking his head. "No," He kisses the tip of Jongdae's nose. "I enjoyed making it for you. And besides, even if you were, I'm always happy to indulge you."

 

Jongdae flushes, then tucks his face into Chanyeol's neck, a little shy and a lot blissful. "I'm so glad," He whispers softly, voice a little hoarse. "I'm so glad you came back."

 

Chanyeol puzzles a little, but Jongdae doesn't say anything to correct himself, and he takes it as a mere slip of the tongue. "I love you," He says instead, and deems it the right choice when Jongdae peeks up from his spot to kiss him again.

 

* * *

 

 

They spend the third day mostly cuddled up together in the beach house. There's a light drizzle outside, nothing too unbearable by any means, but just enough that there's an excuse to stay in and curl up in front of the fireplace with mugs of hot cocoa rather than venture outside.

 

They share stories; mostly Jongdae speaking and Chanyeol listening. He learns a little about Jongdae's past, of how he doesn't know who his sire is, the two vampires who took him in while he was in the middle of his fledging rage.

 

"They were the first ones to be kind to me after I turned," Jongdae says, head leaning against Chanyeol's arm, in between sips of cocoa. "I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for them. They taught me how to be human again. Minseok was especially patient with me."

 

It dawns on Chanyeol that Jongdae had lived for a very, _very_ long time. Chanyeol looks down at him. "You don't think I'm too immature for you?"

 

Jongdae raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "Are you saying I'm old?"

 

Chanyeol shrugs. "You're hundreds of years old, Jongdae. You've seen a lot more of the world than I have. I must seem so inexperienced next to you."

 

Jongdae leans over to kiss Chanyeol's cheek. "It doesn't matter to me, Chanyeol. If anything, I'm glad that you're choosing to stay with me when you could have someone younger."

 

Chanyeol beams at him, and, glancing at the empty mug in Jongdae's hands, reaches out for it. Jongdae looks a little surprised to see his own mug empty, but he smiles gratefully at Chanyeol.

 

Alas, Chanyeol was born with two left feet, and so he trips on his way to the kitchen and sends the mugs smashing to the ground. Jongdae's on his feet and by his side in an instant. "Chanyeol," He scolds, frowning. "Be careful."

 

Chanyeol gives him a sheepish grin, picking up the pieces in his hands. He's too busy looking at Jongdae, though, because damn it, why does Jongdae have to be so cute when he's upset? It's a terrible idea, because he cuts his hand on a shard of broken porcelain.

 

Jongdae stiffens up immediately, eyes going wide and pupils dilating. Chanyeol looks up at him, concerned, but then realises that he's _bleeding_ , and Jongdae is a _vampire_. "Oh, shit," Chanyeol says, rushing over to the sink to stick his hand under running water. "I'm so sorry, Jongdae, I didn't mean to."

 

Jongdae's quiet, picking up the pieces on the ground and waving Chanyeol away when he tries to walk forward to offer his help. He remains silent, and Chanyeol frowns, wondering if he's managed to screw everything up.

 

Jongdae doesn't say anything until they're back in the bedroom, and by this time, Chanyeol is straight up panicking. He doesn't know how Jongdae reacts to blood, and he's _definitely_ not sure how Jongdae feels about smelling his. He can only hope, as he watches Jongdae from his perch on the bed, that he hasn't ruined their vacation.

 

"Chanyeol," Jongdae calls, snapping him out of his reverie. Jongdae's looking at him with a soft gaze, and Chanyeol blinks up at him. "Don't look so worried, my love. I'm not mad."

 

"You're not?" Chanyeol asks, in disbelief. "But I broke your mugs, and I cut myself. You sort of stiffened up when I did."

 

Jongdae comes to sit next to him on the bed, taking his hand and playing with his fingers. "I was worried about you," Jongdae admits. "You hurt yourself, and I could've probably stopped it from happening, but I didn't manage to. And then you _bled,_  and you-" Jongdae cuts himself off here, swallowing thickly. "You have no idea how good your blood smelled to me. I had to stop talking just to get a hold of myself again."

 

Through all of that, Chanyeol had only managed to catch one sentence. "My blood smells good to you?"

 

Jongdae snorts, rolling his eyes. "Of course that would be what you're concerned about." He shrugs. "It does."

 

"Do you want it?" Chanyeol asks, eagerly.

 

Jongdae gives him a look. "You're joking, right?"

 

"Of course not!"

 

"You have no idea how serious this is, Chanyeol."

 

Chanyeol pouts. "Maybe not," He admits. "But you haven't had anything to drink since we got here, right? You're not parched, but you could use a little bit of blood, so you won't hurt me, but it'll be beneficial to you." He clutches at the hem of his shirt, feeling a little shy, mumbling out his last sentence. "And it makes me jealous that you take blood from Baekhyun instead of me."

 

Jongdae's eyes widen, then crinkle into cute little crescents when he laughs. Chanyeol looks up at him, mildly offended, but Jongdae brings his hand up to his lips and presses a kiss to his knuckles. "You're so precious, Chanyeol," He says. "But taking blood is dangerous, no matter how used to it I am. Especially one that smells as good to me as yours. I don't want to put you in that kind of danger."

 

"You can just take a little bit," Chanyeol argues. "Not much at all! It'll just be a little sip, and you'll feel much better. Please, Jongdae?"

 

Jongdae's looking at him in amusement. "Why are you so intent on me taking your blood, anyway?"

 

"Because!" Chanyeol says hotly. "You take blood from Baekhyun when you're at the manor, when you have me! And I may not know _how_ you take blood from him, but it's definitely intimate, since you never let me into your room when you're doing it! If it makes me ridiculous that I'm jealous of that, then fine, I'm ridiculous, okay!"

 

Jongdae's gaze softens, then, and he reaches out to take Chanyeol's other hand. "Chanyeol," He says, voice as soft as his eyes. "I'm sorry; I didn't know it meant so much to you. I cannot deny that I'm a little afraid I might not be able to fully control myself, but if you want to, then I'll take a little blood from you, okay?"

 

Chanyeol sits up straight, nodding eagerly. Jongdae takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. "You _must_ tell me when you're feeling light headed, okay? Hit me, if you must, to get me away from you. Please don't let me hurt you, Chanyeol."

 

"You won't," Chanyeol says. "I trust you."

 

Jongdae sends him a weak, but happy smile, and takes another deep breath. Chanyeol doesn't know how the feeding is going to work, but he smiles back at Jongdae anyway, hoping that he'll be able to reassure him. Jongdae lets go of one of his hands after he presses a kiss to his fingertips, then takes the other in both hands, reverently. "I'm going to bite," He warns, tracing the area with his lips.

 

"Okay," Chanyeol breathes. He catches a glimpse of Jongdae's fangs elongating, and then he _bites_.

 

There's pain, a flash of it, as Jongdae's fangs puncture through his skin. He stiffens, feeling strange, and then there's the strange sensation of his blood being drained. There's something else, though, a bond, like a string that ties him and Jongdae together. It's just under his skin, not obvious enough to be noticed but just obvious enough that it's present, that's it's there, and Chanyeol holds onto it, clings to it desperately. He can feel it strengthening the longer Jongdae drinks, one string turning into two, into ten, into a hundred. With every gulp of his blood, he can _feel_ Jongdae getting stronger even as he gets weaker, but he can also feel the bond itself solidifying, until it's almost a constant presence in the back of his mind.

 

Jongdae pulls away just as Chanyeol thinks he's about to pass out. Jongdae rushes to grab gauze and press it onto the wound, making sure to keep pressure on it so Chanyeol doesn't lose any more blood. He's gone and back so quickly that Chanyeol doesn't even have the time to fall over with that split second lack of support. "How are you feeling?" Jongdae asks, one hand coming up to cup Chanyeol's face. "You look pale, and you feel a little cold."

 

"I'm fine," Chanyeol rasps back. "I can feel- Something. Is it supposed to be like that?"

 

"The bond?" Jongdae asks, then smiling when Chanyeol nods minutely. "Not always. It has to be special, for both participants, I guess. Feeding is a necessity for us, but the bond is something we have to create, it has to be consensual."

 

"So you don't have one with Baekhyun?"

 

"Again with Baekhyun," Jongdae teases, but he leans forward to kiss Chanyeol's cheek anyways. "No, not with Baekhyun. He's would never want a bond with me the same way I would never want one with him. You have nothing to worry about, my love."

 

"Okay," Chanyeol swallows, nodding again. "Okay. Is it- Is it okay if I sleep, first?"

 

Jongdae laughs, and presses another kiss to the corner of his lips, this time. "Of course, my love. I'll take care of you."

 

"Love you, Jongdae," Chanyeol slurs, eyes already beginning to close. "Thank you."

 

"No, Chanyeol," He hears Jongdae say as he's manoeuvred into a more comfortable position on the bed. "Thank _you_."

 

* * *

 

 

Chanyeol wakes up the next morning feeling a little groggy, but there's a pleasant hum in the back of his mind. He grins to himself, tugs on the bond a little, then quickly lets go when he feels Jongdae shift in his sleep beside him. He turns to look at Jongdae, who's still curled up in bed beside him, and smiles, brushing Jongdae's hair away from his face.

 

He stretches, feeling the gauze pull a little from where Jongdae had supposedly wrapped it around his wrist. It makes something tingly form inside of him, as he gets out of bed and into the bathroom.

 

It's already bright out, but it's unlikely that Jongdae will awaken any time soon. He had probably continued to watch over Chanyeol through the night, knowing his tendency to worry. He'd go for a nice walk first, Chanyeol thinks, then come back and wake Jongdae up for brunch.

 

The air is cool, and Chanyeol sticks his hands in his pockets as he walks down along the shore. There's a couple of tide pools a little aways form the cottage, and Chanyeol walks towards it.

 

"What are you doing back here with him?"

 

Chanyeol jumps so high up into the air, he might've hit the ceiling had there been one over his head. He hadn't expected anyone to be on the beach, and, when he glances around frantically, there isn't. There is, however, and Chanyeol takes a step backwards when he realises, a merbeing in the water, with razor sharp teeth exposed by a wide smirk. They're beautiful, he has to admit, bright eyes, an androgynous face and even brighter grin.

 

"You don't have to be that surprised," The merbeing says. "We've met before, after all. Ah, although I supposed you might not remember that. Regardless, that's not the point." They flick their tail in the water, splashing Chanyeol slightly. "The point is, what are you doing here again with that vampire when you were so adamant on forgetting him the last time you were here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> absolutely nobody:  
> me: chanyeol washing jongdae's hair
> 
> we're finally getting away from the sap and into some actual plot, but, weak laughter. please leave a comment with guesses on who the merbeing is/how you think everything will go down, or even just screaming at me if you. you know, would like to.
> 
> thank you for staying with me!


	9. ix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are mentions of (very) minor character death in this chapter, so please be aware of that.

Chanyeol stares at the merbeing in the water, who's still looking entirely too amused for Chanyeol's comfort. They have their chin held in their palms, tail flicking behind them. Their gaze is almost condescending, and Chanyeol can't help but bristle.

 

"What are you talking about?" He asks, defensive. "I've never met you before."

 

Their smile widens, seems to become even more amused than before. "Yes, you have," They sing-song, eyes bright and mischievous. "You just don't remember it, because you chose to give up your memories. Mostly of that vampire you've been so intimate with." Their eyes travel down to Chanyeol's wrist, where the gauze still rests, and Chanyeol covers it with his other hand, suddenly unsure as to why he wants to keep it to himself.

 

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Chanyeol says stiffly. "I'm only here on vacation with my lover. You must have mistaken me for someone else."

 

The merbeing sighs. "Your name is Park Chanyeol. You were 26 when we first met, so you're probably 27 years old by now. Your vampire's name is Kim Jongdae, and judging by that," They flick one hand in the direction of Chanyeol's bandaged wrist. "You've shared your blood with him, and he's probably your lover, again. I'm merely curious to know why you're with him again after you were so upset you decided to give up all your memories of him."

 

The facts startle Chanyeol, eyes widening and staggering back. "I- Gave up my memories of him?"

 

They nod. "You stumbled here, all distraught, and told me everything. I offered you a potion that would erase the memories you didn't want, and you took it. You forgot those of the vampire, mostly."

 

"I chose to forget Jongdae?" He whispers to himself in disbelief. "But why would I?"

 

"You could find out, if you'd like," The merbeing says, smiling widely again. It should freak Chanyeol out, but he's too busy being mind boggled by everything that he's being told. "I did keep the vial with your memories somewhere. I could go fetch it for you."

 

"My memories. The memories I chose to forget," Chanyeol clenches his hands into fists. "Yes," He makes up his mind. "I'd like them, please. If you still have them."

 

The merbeing grins, tells him to wait, then disappears into the ocean. Chanyeol sits himself down on the sand, putting his face in his hands. Why had he wanted to forget everything with Jongdae? It made sense, however, all the little slip ups that Jongdae made, his hostility towards Chanyeol the first time he'd seen him in the manor, Baekhyun's reaction to Jongdae deciding to be with him again, Kyungsoo's expression when he had first seen Chanyeol asking to be hired.

 

Was the man in the portrait _him_ , then? The one that had made Jongdae happy, the one that had given Loey to him - and he feels like an idiot, then, because Loey was just Yeol spelled backwards, like in _Chanyeol_. He had been so jealous of the person in the portrait torn up by Jongdae when all this time, it had apparently just been himself.

 

Should he take his memories back? There was a reason that he had decided to forget _everything_ about Jongdae, and it's impossible to ignore that fact. What had happened between them that Chanyeol had decided that it was worth hurting Jongdae and throwing their entire relationship away?

 

He hasn't come up with a decision when the merbeing is already popping their head back up and out of the water. They're swimming closer to him, iridescent scales shining under the sun. In their hand is a clear, glass bottle filled with a transparent liquid. "Come closer," They sing-song. "I can't reach that far up the shore."

 

Chanyeol stumbles his way forward, swallowing harshly. His hand closes around the bottle, and the merbeing, hands now free, immediately cups their face in their hands, leaning forward on their elbows. "Go ahead."

 

Chanyeol uncorks the bottle, staring at the contents of it. He takes a deep breath, glances up at the merbeing one more time, then throws his head back and downs it in one go.

 

He staggers back when the memories all hit him at once, falling to the ground. "What-" He says, nauseous and on the verge of throwing up. His head is pounding, like a migraine magnified a hundred, a thousand times.

 

_“Hello!” Chanyeol greets. The lord of the manor’s head snaps up to look at him, and he grins, waving. “I’m Chanyeol, your new stablehand!”_

 

_“Hello, Chanyeol,” Jongdae smiles, gracefully descending the stairs. “Welcome to my humble abode; Kyungsoo hasn’t introduced you to me yet. Is today your first day?”_

 

_“That’s right!” Chanyeol beams. “Please take care of me!”_

 

Jongdae had been so different from the first, no, _second_ , time they’d met. Jongdae hadn’t run away from him the moment he’d seen him, no, had come to _him_ , instead, smiled at him and invited him into his home. A small part of Chanyeol aches.

 

_“Jongdae,” Chanyeol murmurs, holding Jongdae close. They’re in the living room, on the loveseat. Chanyeol has Jongdae wrapped up in his arms, and he’s never felt so warm, so comfortable. He nuzzles Jongdae’s cheek, and Jongdae turns slightly in his grasp._

 

_“Mm?”_

 

_Chanyeol lets out a small sigh, then, “Can I kiss you?”_

 

_Jongdae stiffens, just a little, before he’s relaxing. There’s a smile on his face, small but happy, and it makes warmth bloom in Chanyeol’s chest, to be able to get such an expression out of Jongdae. “Yes,” Jongdae replies softly. “Please kiss me, Chanyeol.”_

 

_Chanyeol grins, happiness spreading from his core down to the very tips of his toes. He tilts Jongdae’s head up towards his, and presses a kiss to his lips._

 

Everything was just so different from what Chanyeol remembered. All the firsts he had had with Jongdae, the first time they held hands, the first time they hugged, the first time they kissed. It was mind blowing, to him, that they had had an entire past together. One that Chanyeol had chosen to forget about. 

 

_“I have a little pastime of mine that I like to do sometimes,” Chanyeol suggests. “I learned it while I was in town, a couple of weeks ago. Would you like to try it out, too?”_

 

_“What is it?” Jongdae asks, intrigued._

 

_Chanyeol smiles, wrapping his arms around Jongdae’s slim waist. “Soap making. I know how much you like to take baths, after all.”_

 

_Jongdae’s eyes light up at that. “That sounds really fun! Can we do it together? Could you teach me how to?”_

 

_“Of course, my love,” Chanyeol says, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jongdae’s lips. “The first bar I ever make will be dedicated to you.”_

 

_“And every single one after, for you,” Jongdae replies, grin bright._

 

It all flashed past, the memories he had never known he had lost, invading his brain. Every happy memory with Jongdae, holding him close, loving him. Chanyeol had had so much fun making soap with Jongdae, and now it turns out that he’d learned the skill _for_ Jongdae, had been the one to teach it to him. He didn’t understand why he had wanted to forget all of this.

 

Until-

 

_“You_ killed _my parents?” Chanyeol screams._

 

_Jongdae stands in front of him, distraught, trying his best to get as close to Chanyeol as possible, but Chanyeol pushes him away, trapped in his grief. “Please, Chanyeol, I- I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to!”_

 

_“You_ drained them dry _!” He shouts. “They were good people, they were just trying to live their lives! My god.” He comes to a realisation then. “The vampire,” He says, looking up at Jongdae with tear streaked cheeks, rage and fury in his eyes. “You’re the one that killed everyone in my village, then razed it to the ground. It’s you.”_

 

_“I did that all in my fledging thirst, Chanyeol!” Jongdae pleads, dropping to his knees and sobbing. “I didn’t have a clear head, and all I could do was think about blood. Please, Chanyeol, you know this, you know how difficult it was for me to break out of that. I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t know!”_

 

_“Who_ cares _whether or not you knew?” Chanyeol demands. He clutches at his head. “Yura and I went through so much because of you! We had no parents, no family to support us, we were just kids! God, if we hadn’t been at the spring that day doing our chores you would’ve killed us, too.”_

 

_“I’m sorry, Chanyeol,” Jongdae apologises. He’s crying, crawling his way towards Chanyeol, but he’s never looked more terrifying. He can still hear the crackling of the fire as it consumed his village, the heat of the flames when he tried to rush in, only to be held back by Yura’s grip on his shoulders. “Please, Chanyeol-ah, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry-”_

 

_“I don’t care!” Chanyeol strikes out, and his hand catches Jongdae across the cheek, but he doesn’t react beyond trying to get closer to Chanyeol. “You_ killed _them, they’re_ gone _, and nothing you say will ever bring them back. God,_ god _! All this time I’ve been here, I’ve been with my parents’ killer.”_

 

_“Chanyeol. Chanyeol, please, please don’t go,” Jongdae’s words are little more than hitches of breath at this point. “I’m sorry, Chanyeol, please.”_

 

_“_ No _!” Chanyeol shouts. “Get away from me! You- You_ monster _!”_

 

_Jongdae freezes where he kneels, hand outstretched and lips trembling. There’s something in his eyes that cracks, then, breaks behind that gaze. Chanyeol wonders if it’s Jongdae’s heart, vindictively_ hopes _it is. He takes the chance to scramble to his feet and run, run out the door and into the night._

 

Chanyeol gasps, falling to his knees where he stands. He’s heaving, desperately trying to draw oxygen into his lungs. Jongdae had killed his parents? Jongdae was the killer? Chanyeol had spent years and years mourning his parents alongside Yura, and now- Gods, no _wonder_ he’d chosen to forget Jongdae.

 

_“It’ll be alright,” Luhan says. “Just drink it, and everything you don’t want will be gone.”_

 

_“Everything?”_

 

_Luhan shrugs. “Everything your mind decides you don’t want to remember. I don’t know how much it’ll be; it’s a choice that you have to make yourself.”_

 

_Chanyeol stares at the little vial in his hand, then tips his head back and swallows all of it._

 

_The last thing he remembers before his eyes close and his memories evaporate is Jongdae’s face, frozen mid-laugh before him, and a happy voice echoing in his mind, calling him “Chanyeollie!”._

 

Chanyeol turns away from Luhan, now fully back in the present, and hurls.

 

“Oh, dear,” Luhan sniffs delicately. “That looks horrible.”

 

Chanyeol glares up at him. “You’ve seen me worse.”

 

“Unfortunately so,” Luhan replies, deadpan. “I must say, you look much more put together this time, considering all that you’ve just learned. Oh, but could you care to tell me why you’re with him again? Did you really somehow manage to stumble all the way back to his manor?”

 

“I got the same job there,” Chanyeol wipes his mouth with the edge of his sleeve. He looks down at the gauze on his wrist, suddenly feeling nothing but anger. “Maybe he tricked me into it, who knows. He didn’t seem that keen on letting me go the first time.”

 

“Vampires can’t bewitch people, silly human,” Luhan laughs, tail flicking behind him in amusement. “You must have subconsciously wanted to go back to him, and you did. That’s interesting.” His eyes move down to the bandage on Chanyeol’s wrist as well, and he grins. “You must’ve formed a bond with him.”

 

Now that Luhan’s speaking of it, he can feel it, again, in the back of his mind. He had been so caught up in his emotions that he hadn’t been paying attention to it, but now that he is, there’s an underlying tinge of fear, of sorrow, where their bond lies. 

 

“I guess I should’ve known.”

 

Chanyeol whips around, and Jongdae’s standing a couple of metres away from where he and Luhan are. He’s dressed up to the nines, looking a little ridiculous in his large, full length coat and knee length boots. There’s a huge, floppy hat on his head, the brim wide enough to cover Jongdae’s entire face from the sun, and gloves on his hands. He looks beautiful, Chanyeol thinks, decked out entirely in black, but he bites his tongue, thinking back on his newly regained memories, and of how Jongdae had been the one to kill his parents. 

 

“Hello, Luhan,” Jongdae greets dryly.

 

Luhan grins, rows of sharp teeth glinting in the morning sun. “It’s rare to see your kind out at this time of day.”

 

“I felt Chanyeol’s emotions through our bond,” Jongdae replies. “So I rushed out to make sure he was okay.” He’s not looking Chanyeol in the eye at all, hands folded neatly in front of him. His expression is carefully blank, but Chanyeol can feel his sorrow through their bond.

 

“Well,” Luhan simpers. “I must be off, now; I’ve had my share of fun for today. Do come looking for me again if you decide you don’t want to remember any of this, Chanyeol.” His tail flicks once, twice, then he’s diving into the water, disappearing from sight.

 

Jongdae sighs once he’s gone, then turns to Chanyeol. “I take it you chose to get your memories back?”

 

Chanyeol glares at him, and really, that’s answer enough. Even before, when Jongdae had treated Chanyeol like he didn’t exist, Chanyeol had never once looked at Jongdae like that. “You killed them,” He says, and Jongdae winces minutely. “And you never thought to tell me this?”

 

“And what?” Jongdae asks, unimpressed. “Have you leave me again?”

 

Chanyeol seethes. “You’d be that selfish?” He’s furious, wracks his mind for something to say that’ll _hurt_ Jongdae, because he can’t believe how impassive he's being. “You’d be enough of a- of a _monster_ to keep something so monumental from me just to keep me with you?” Jongdae flinches back like he’s been punched, and Chanyeol knows how low of a blow that was, because calling Jongdae that had been the reason he had been able to run off, back then. And there’s something in the back of his mind, showing him that day back in Jongdae’s study, when Chanyeol had whispered: “You’re not a monster.”.

 

“What would you have me do?” Jongdae fires back, and now there’s shards in his voice, like he’s about to cry but he’s stopping his tears from falling. “The love of my life leaves me because I killed his parents before we met. Was that my fault? Yes. I owned up to it. I told you I’ve killed people in my fledging thirst. I take responsibility for what I’ve done. The first time he finds out, he leaves me, and I’m left to pick up the pieces.

 

“But then he comes back. He comes back, and he’s the same as he’s ever been, and he tries so desperately hard to get close to me when all I do is push him away. He laughs with me, he does everything we used to do together with me. I watch as he falls in love with me again, and the gods know that _I’ve_ never stopped loving _him_.

 

“Maybe it does make me selfish. Maybe it _does_ makes me a horrible person. But I had the man I loved right there with me again, holding me the way he used to, kissing me the way he used to. So if it makes me a bad person for wanting to be happy with him again, then so be it.”

 

Chanyeol stares at him, swallowing. He wants to believe Jongdae, wants to believe everything he says, that he loves Chanyeol. A part of him does, but it’s shadowed, eclipsed by the larger part of him that says that Jongdae had killed his family. That he had had to struggle as street rats with Yura, growing up, because of the vampire standing before him.

 

“Are you going to go?” Jongdae finally asks, voice tired. 

 

“Are you going to ask me to stay?” Chanyeol fires back.

 

“It didn’t work the first time,” Jongdae answers him, looking sadder than Chanyeol had ever seen him. “Why would it work now?”

 

Chanyeol takes a deep breath, then staggers to his feet. Jongdae looks like he wants to help, but stops himself when Chanyeol sends him a look. There’s resignation on his face, like Jongdae already knows what’s going to happen. And, really? There’s not much doubt about it.

 

Chanyeol runs back to the beach house, as fast as he can. He takes his time to look around at the place that he had called home for the past couple of days once he realises that Jongdae hasn’t followed him. He walks up the stairs, to the bedroom he had shared with Jongdae, running his fingers across the sheets. 

 

For a moment, he just wants to forget everything, and just continue living his life with Jongdae.

 

_“Papa!” Chanyeol screams. “Mama!”_

 

_“No, Chanyeol!” Yura cries, hands on his shoulders dragging him back. The clothes that they had been tasked to wash are now on the ground between them. “You can’t, Chanyeol, they’re gone! We need to go, now!”_

 

_“But papa!” Chanyeol cries. "Papa and mama are in there, noona!”_

 

_Yura shakes her head desperately. “We need to go in case the vampire’s still here!” She takes Chanyeol’s little hand in hers and tugs him away. “We have to go into town, Chanyeol, we can’t be here anymore.”_

 

_“I want to go home,” Chanyeol sobs._

 

_“Home doesn’t exist for us now, Chanyeol,” Yura says through her own tears as they stumble on the little dirty path that takes them into town. “It’s just you and me now.”_

 

He retracts his hand, then, furiously. This memory he had always carried with him, had not chosen to forget it - he had no reason to, as it had nothing to do with his realisation that Jongdae had killed his parents - and he hadn’t thought about it in so long. Now that he knew, it gave all the more reason for rage to flow through him.

 

Hands scrabbling for the necklace around his neck, he tries to unhook it, but can’t, then shouts in frustration and grabs at it, ripping it off and breaking the chain. He breathes heavily, looking down at it, the blue topaz winking up prettily at him, reminding him of Jongdae’s words, his kind gaze when he had gifted it to him.

 

_“Home doesn't exist for us now, Chanyeol."_

 

His jaw clenches, and he tosses the necklace haphazardly onto the nightstand, and storms out. He grabs the first horse he finds in the stable, uncaring of which it is, and saddles it up. He shoves into a knapsack all his belongings that he can find, and a bag of food that will last him a couple of days. He knows where he’s going, but admittedly he’s not sure where they are, so he’ll have to get some help in the town nearby.

 

Chanyeol rides out, feeling rage and sorrow warring within him. He doesn’t want to leave Jongdae, doesn’t want to let everything that they’ve had go, but at the same time he can’t stop thinking about how Jongdae had been the one to rip everything from him and Yura. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts, and rides harder.

 

He gets into town roughly an hour later and asks for a riding map at the local inn. He circles where he is with his finger, then the town where Yura had made her family. It’s a couple of days ride away, but Chanyeol’s not in the mood to go slow, so it’ll probably take him a day and a half worth of riding, excluding sleep. He’ll do it; he wants to get out of here as soon as possible, after all.

 

It’s just as he’s packing a few more things he’ll need for the trip that he feels it. The sorrow within him wells up into heartache, and he’s hit with a huge wave of despair, so much so that he staggers, then falls to the ground. He closes his eyes, and the bond is shaking, trembling, strings fraying. In his mind's eye, he sees, through the bond: Jongdae is kneeling next to the bed they had vacated that morning, clutching the blue topaz embedded necklace to his chest, and wailing. 

 

It’s like nothing that Chanyeol has ever seen, except- Except the first time Chanyeol had left him, back in the manor’s sitting room, when Chanyeol had found out for the first time. It’s that unearthly cry, breaking his heart and tearing it apart, tears running down Jongdae’s cheeks. Something shatters, in the bond, and then Chanyeol’s thrown out of it, a brick wall slamming down in between them, and Chanyeol knows nothing more.

 

He feels it, then, his rage intensifying once the wall comes down, and he realises that the sadness he had felt all day had been _Jongdae’s_ , leaking through the bond, because he’d known that there was a high chance that Chanyeol would choose to go. What he had just felt, had _seen_ , in his mind’s eye, was Jongdae realising that Chanyeol was really gone, this time.

 

Chanyeol takes a deep breath, then shakes his head. It would not do for him to think of Jongdae in any way, or he would be too tempted to ride back to him, and that would do nothing but mar his parents’ dignity.

 

Chanyeol swings himself atop his horse, clears his mind, and rides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! i'll probably only be able to get the next chapter out after this semester ends, unfortunately, but for those of you who've stayed with me thus far, thank you so much! i promise we'll get to the end!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed it thus far, even if it was kind of just a whole lot of ~~nothing~~ worldbuilding. kudos & comments make a happy author! <3


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